If You Are Confused About Your Relationship, Ask Yourself This Question

If you clicked on this story, there is a high chance that you’re in a relationship that’s leaving you a bit sad, empty, and confused.

Maybe you feel like your partner doesn’t put much effort into the relationship, or they don’t text you back for hours, or maybe you feel like you have to beg for the bare minimum at times.

But it’s not so bad; you guys have fun together, you love each other, and when it’s right, it’s almost perfect.

Does that sound familiar? If yes, then you’re in the right place.

I want you to take a deep breath and ask yourself this question:

Can I be happy forever if nothing about my partner or this relationship changes?

Sit that for a minute. Don’t rush, don’t try to give yourself a surface-level answer, and don’t start counting all the good parts of the relationship.

Are you in love with this person as a whole or are you in love with their potential?

Picture yourself ten years from now. Your partner is exactly the same as today, your relationship is just as fulfilling as it is today, not more or less, are you happy in this scenario?

If the answer is anything but a hell yes, we need to dig deeper.

If I had a dollar for every venting session with my friends that ended up in them saying, “But I believe he’ll change,” I’d be a millionaire right now.

The harsh reality is that waiting for someone to change is like staring out the window, hoping for snow in July.

Sure, people can change and a lot do. But do you really want to gamble your whole life on a hint of hope?

We have all been there, falling in love with the potential of someone instead of opening our eyes to who they are today. But trust me, they are not going to change and turn into your ideal partner one day, just because they have some qualities you love and enjoy.

If you are sticking around for the possibility of them finally having the epic realization of how much you mean to them and suddenly finding the motivation to fix their entire life, you are wasting your time.

The person you are with now is the person you’ve got. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by waiting around for a dramatic transformation.

Every relationship needs some work to find a mutual balance, but if your partner has limited self-awareness, then it is likely they are not going to become self-aware overnight and shift their entire life.

The illusion of potential is a dangerous trap. It can keep you stuck in a miserable relationship for years. The potential for change is not the same as actual change.

So, if they are not showing signs of actual improvement day by day, what makes you think that change will come out of nowhere one day?

At the end of the day, relationships aren’t about finding the perfect person; they are about being truly happy and content with what you have.

Relationships are not supposed to be so hard and draining. Healthy relationships are peaceful and serene. In the right relationship, you will love your partner’s quirks and habits instead of constantly being frustrated by them.

If you can honestly say that “yes, I can be happy if nothing ever changed,” that is amazing. It means you have found your person. You are not trying to fix them; you are happy with who they are.

So, stop stressing, stop overanalyzing every text, and just ask yourself: Can I be happy if nothing changes?

If yes, awesome. If not, then it might be time to figure out what you need to change.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***