If You Feel You Are Meant For More

Red on my website / Reading time 7 minutes.

If you look at life waiting for a message, you will get it. The only requirement is to be prepared, just like in a movie theater, taking the observer’s role and preparing to be immersed in a film reel.

The “third position,” which many associate with the popular notion of mindfulness, allows us to get life messages, recover faster, and find more hidden meaning in every second of our lives.

I call this unique human ability “reading between the lines,” where we get the essence of what is going on, shifting attention to information rather than concentrating on the experience details or people involved.

I got my message from a friend who unexpectedly came to my house and shared her dream. She told me she was leaving the town for the university in three weeks because she wanted to study mathematics. The conversation was bright; she was on top and shone like never before.

The adventure was in her voice, and she was so connected and enlightening in her speech that I forgot every bad second between us.

She was a stream of new potential in her own right.

“Do they have a psychology department?” I asked.

They didn’t, but there was an opportunity to specialize in it as a biology or history student. Surprisingly, I had a few certificates and wins from biology Olympiads and regional competitions. Once I realized that, my heart started beating so fast that I couldn’t stop it: that feeling again!

My hands were getting wet. I was so worried but happy at the same time.

…

I felt it was a call when she told me: “Let’s go together to a big city, it will be easier for the two of us.”

Whether it was her mother who wisely sent her to me, my dad had a hand in it, or she was afraid to go alone, I have no idea, and I think it doesn’t matter.

I felt uplifted, but simultaneously, I was scared to death.

First, it was a whole gap year after school, and my recent marks had been a disaster. My high school diploma mostly had just satisfactory grades and an unsatisfactory behavior mark due to my neurodiversity and rebellious actions. Yet I had no doubts about my life message!

The opportunity of finally leaving this town became a bright ember that ignited my childhood dreams, making them radiant.

University and the big city!

I’m sure this friend was the messenger, but I could only get the message because my heart no longer held the teenage episode between us. I was free from any resentment, being thankful for what I had.

We were both sitting in an intercity bus a week later, driving us to an unknown future.

…

My task was to pass three exams, biology being the main one, and I had only two weeks to prepare.

What a time it was. We were arranged to revise on the Uni campus in a room with four or five other girls from different faculties. Everybody studied day and night, forgetting to eat or walk out for fresh air.

There were so many new things around, but the atmosphere was electric with somebody’s drama of a failed exam or somebody’s ecstasy at being accepted.

My brain could remember tons of information, which is of interest to me, and I crammed stuff like crazy.

I remember the night before the exam. Importance was at the highest because a good mark meant I could take two other exams and be considered a candidate. I opened my biology textbook, looked at the material, read it through once again, and put an open same-page book under my pillow.

…

In the morning, I was nervous. The University auditorium was packed as the faculty was popular.

I pulled out the exam questions and saw a question about cancer — namely, a simple crayfish and its structure from the field of zoology. In a particular order from the book, I remembered all its identification of parts and their functions; the material was from a page I opened yesterday.

More specifically, I remembered this part of the textbook not just precisely but verbatim. The other two questions weren’t as good; one was from botany, which I barely remembered.

My time came, and I sat down, starting my answer from a weaker question. The teacher was the chairwoman of the panel, and she was a nerd. In a second, I realized that I would not pass. I asked her for a pause, referring to the necessity to concentrate, and got the opportunity. I sat at the desk and realized I would not remember anything else.

As my heartbeat slowed, I began to fall from panic into the funnel of the collapse of my hope.

Suddenly, something happened.

…

My eye caught a modest woman sitting on the edge of the magnificent chairwoman’s table with a badge that read, “Department of Zoology.”

That was my golden ticket, my crayfish!

As soon as the previous candidate stood up, I rushed to the chair in front of her and began to tell everything I knew about it.

She stopped me, but I said that’s not all. She said that was enough, but I insisted that I found arthropods beautiful and that they were unique to me.

Then I saw her clear handwriting put some notes in my documents, and she stood up.

Imagine a vast old-fashioned university auditorium descending to a podium filled with several hundred candidates, building up the logic of answering exam questions so diligently that the dust of summer air trembles with tension in the transparent sunlight.

“Audience, be quiet!”

Her loud voice stopped the whole process.

“Stand up,” she said, and cottony legs lifted me.

All eyes were on me, and it was the worst moment of my life.

I wore glasses and was very shy.

On top of that, I had accidentally broken part of my glasses in the university’s bustle, so the central axis tilted strongly to the right, crossed by a large fissure.

To answer questions, however, I put them on because, without glasses, I saw only colored blurry spots; my vision was lost in childhood.

And now everyone saw me, my glasses, my face red out of tension, and heard her unbelievable words, culminating the psychological drama of my ugly duckling.

“Candidates! I want to introduce a student who has the potential to become a pride of our faculty, and I want us all to wish her well now.”

She probably came from another culture, as I could not even imagine being noticed in front of the others. The noise of applause was as if from another world.

I felt so uncomfortable thinking about how they feel now about themselves.

I was accepted.

…

At that moment, my sensitive personality, biology certificates, math-loving friend, entrepreneurship for raising my level of confidence, mysterious book pages with cancer, and ability to sense a moment of opportunity became a logical chain of life’s events, showing the reason.

I was not forgotten at all; I went through preparations for a significant role in my life.

What was new for me was meeting a deeply involved person in my life, although I didn’t know her.

That was the first time I met one of the people I call “angels,” and there were few such meetings in my life.

Such encounters always give us enormous support and sudden changes for the good in our life direction.

On this day, I also understood that sensitive people could feel threads and opportunities in the same way.

It became so vivid after I was able to follow breadcrumbs, such as information in the textbook, that coincided with the question I was supposed to answer and this examiner’s faculty sign.

When such synchronicities happen, we suddenly reveal waves of “cause-and-effect” threads and vividly feel something more prominent when we are.

…

Life is a consistent journey, with persistence in organizing what we need to find our true center and excellence.

So, if deep inside you have that scary sense you’re destined for more, don’t give up.

When your hands get sweaty and your heart races, that signifies emotional engagement. Emotional connection reveals what truly matters to us beyond our beliefs and values.

Our hearts will affirm, “Yes, this is mine!” How could it be based on values and beliefs (as many trainers and psychologists will tell you) if you don’t have them at a new level yet? This is not a growing mindset, not open, not destined for more if you start your path from known values. Trust in the unknown instead.

Fully engaging and being ready is similar to being in a movie theater, taking on the observer position, and preparing to dive into a life reel.

Start it from that feeling in your heart — it won’t betray you.

…

Find me on LinkedIn, Goodreads, or website. Send me professional inquiries at Kirkus ProConnect.

Whenever you’re ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

The Gift of Sensitivity Book saves your precious time summarising 8 years of research & personal journey. Take a copy to discover your own sensitivity, transforming it into a superpower for a future with extraordinary faculties such as creativity, originality, innovation, intuition, flexibility, and inclusiveness in times of technological acceleration.
The Emotional Capital Newsletter informs you with a mosaic of perspectives and insights on how emotional depth can fuel transformation, expedite learning, and activate greater cognitive capacities. Here vulnerability meets strength and sensitivity is recast not as a liability, but as a potent asset.
Notes of Sensitive Resurgent Practical Guide promotes you sharing your story and/or questions. Notes of Sensitive Resurgent is a practical “how-to” guide, with a target for understanding and experiencing what’s possible when we tap into our innate abilities. Let’s grow together!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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