If Your Life Sucks It’s Not Your Government’s Fault (Spoiler Alert: It’s Not Your Parents’ Either)

I’ve failed so many times to the point of exhaustion, depression, desperation, trying to figure out what went wrong, just to fail again.

Women rejected me.

Prospects ignored me.

And yet despite all the pain, I keep telling myself one thing:

“It’s your ‘fault’, and that’s a good thing. If you messed it up, it also means you can fix it”

Life could be tough, it’s true. It’s messy and there are no clear-cut instructions to success. You can get the woman of your dreams, build a career or a business you’re proud of, and get lean and muscular. But these things are going to cost you your ego.

The problems in your life are not your government’s fault. And neither your parents’ nor whoever you’d like to blame.

The only thing that could keep you stuck in life is yourself. Either we avoid looking in the mirror because we don’t want to, or there’s something we’re missing despite our best efforts. The answer to both of those is extreme responsibility. That doesn’t mean beating yourself up.

Taking “extreme responsibility” over your life means that whenever something doesn’t work, you acknowledge the root of the problem is within you.

This applies on all levels, in all areas.

For example, let’s say you can‘t sell your product even if your life depended on it. That could be a skill problem: you have no idea how to get leads or run sales calls. The issue could also be internal: you don’t believe in your product and wouldn’t buy it yourself.

Same thing can happen with women. You could be very good at meeting them and taking them to bed. Yet still you can’t find a woman to settle down with since you lose your confidence every time a potential partner comes around.

That pattern, if not dealt with, can keep a man stuck for life.

Taking responsibility is painful because it means you were wrong. And potentially, it could mean you are not “good enough”. It doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of love. But we all need to improve and learn new ways, skills and approaches to get what we want.

Typically it involves becoming better at whatever we’re trying to achieve.

The good news is a blend of responsibility and a bit of patience goes a long way.

Get my free ebook, Life Lessons From Getting Rejected By Hundreds Of Women

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This post was previously published on medium.com.