If your Relationship Is Over, Read This

A real-talk letter to the version of you still holding on

As I look back at our relationship, I can honestly say something I never thought I’d be able to say without my voice shaking a little:

I’m not angry with you anymore.

I’m not even upset.

I’m… strangely grateful.

Yeah, I know who wants to admit that? But it’s the truth.

Because the version of you that showed up in the end the real you, the parts you tried so hard to hide at first those were the exact lessons I needed.

Not the ones I wanted.

Not the ones that felt good.

But the ones that pushed me into growing the way comfort never could.

The truth is, I needed you to show me your true colors.

Not to hurt me.

But to finally teach me how to put my boundaries down instead of treating them like suggestions.

I needed to see what happened when I kept choosing someone who stopped choosing me back.

I needed to witness how small I made myself just to keep the peace.

And, honestly, I needed the moment where it all snapped and I realized:

This isn’t love anymore. This is attachment. This is fear. This is me abandoning myself just to keep someone else comfortable.

That moment changed my life.

Because once you see yourself bending in ways you were never meant to bend, you start to understand why you break.

And once you understand your breaking point, you don’t let anyone take you there again.

So no there’s no bitterness left, no silent arguments in my head, no imaginary speeches.

You taught me what you came into my life to teach me.

You taught me what love is not.

And in a weird, backward, slightly painful way… that gave me the clarity to figure out what love actually should be.

So if you’re listening to this while still replaying the past, still wondering what could’ve been, still blaming yourself or blaming them please hear me:

Some people don’t come into your life to stay.

They come to wake you up.

To stretch you.

To make you finally choose yourself.

And when the relationship is over, the lesson isn’t that you weren’t enough.

It’s that you finally learned you deserve more.

And that’s growth.

That’s closure.

That’s the beginning of your next chapter not theirs.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.