Sound the alarm!
Ever feel as though you always find yourself in situations with the slightly shady? Take off the rose-colored glasses and pay attention to these bright relationship red flags to watch out for. Your sanity (and friends who care about you) will thank you.
1. No boundaries.
2. Spilling your secrets.
Look, everyone has a slip-up now and then, but when the person you have sworn to secrecy just happens to slip right in front of the one person you asked them not to, chances are it wasn’t an accident. If it happens twice, you’ve got yourself a bonafide frenemy.
Whether it’s due to anxiety, immaturity and/or a tendency to bully, it’s not something you need to deal with.
4. Stonewalls you.
They are mad at you or you have hit a topic they don’t like to discuss. You know what that means: you’re suddenly being told they won’t listen to what you have to say by way of jumping off of the phone, ignoring your texts/calls, reminding you of their stress or saying it’s not the right time (again).
No one likes discussing touchy topics, but if you are never heard, perhaps you should move on and converse with someone who actually cares about the feelings and person behind the words you’re trying to say.
6. Gets too close, too soon.
Yes, there are some people who just “click,” but bonds take time to build, so guess what? They don’t really love you on week two, and that new acquaintance has yet to earn the bestie title.
7. Disrespects you.
Everyone gets upset, has stress and gets pissed, but how we deal under pressure gives others a clear view of our character. Calling someone names or treating someone like your own personal verbal punching bag says more about them (and what you’ll be dealing with every time they get upset) than the words coming out of their mouth.
Note: This is true even if they are berating that annoying customer service agent on the phone. People who can treat anyone that way will eventually treat everyone that way.
8. Makes “suggestions” on how to improve your looks or life.
9. Always wants something from you.
You’ve come to realize that the random “thinking of you” text always has a string. Friends should always be there for one another, but if someone is always looking to take, it’s time to tell them to take a walk.
10. Never accepts responsibility.
We are all going to do things to screw up, and unless we’re talking huge betrayals, it’s often how we handle ourselves after the screw up that determines the fate of our relationships. If the person you are dealing with has an excuse for the inexcusable, tread lightly.
Other clues you’re dealing with a blame-shifter: He blames all of his exes for break-ups, bosses for job losses and plays the victim in situations where they clearly have equal control.
11. Your friends hate them.
12. They hate your friends.
Not everyone is going to want to go out for a drink with every new person you meet, but if your new girl or guy is constantly making comments in an attempt to get you to question your relationships with your friends or family members, something is up. Your guard should be, too.
It sounds crazy (because it is) but some people will tell you that you have said and done things you didn’t and that you’re overreacting when you’re not. These are the same people who will kick you in the shin and say “ouch” either literally or figuratively (literally would be both funny and insane).
Gaslighting and crazy-making are common attributes of abusers, so steer clear.
14. Never makes time to see you.
Stay friends if you want to, but move. Keep your “fan” status for your favorite pop star.
15. You have an uneasy feeling.
Intuition is a real thing, and we all have it. Trust yours.
Think you’re in the wrong relationship? Watch the video below to see if yours can last:
Brenda Della Casa is the Author of Cinderella Was a Liar, The Managing Editor of Preston Bailey, A Huffington Post Blogger and the Founder of BDC Life In Style. She is usually found in the gym hitting the speed bag to Eminem, having a wine-down with friends or writing with her beloved Chihuahua, Tony Che Montana, by her side. Twitter: @BrendaDellaCasa; Instagram: BrendaDellaCasa; Facebook: BrendaDellaCasa
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