I’m Not Cocky, I’m Confident

Those are not my words. I couldn’t utter if I wanted to. Not yet anyway. My recent stats won’t let me. They are Jadakiss’ words.

There is a fine line between the two though: confident and cocky. By definition, the first applies to someone who has a clear-headed trust in his or her true abilities, while the second is false self-assurance in capabilities that are not there.

“It is easy for me to put on a show and be cocky…” -Bruce Lee

Internal vs. External

When you are confident, your self-assurance comes from the inside. You believe in yourself because you fully appreciate your own abilities and can rightly gauge your effectiveness in any given situation.

When someone is cocky, their sense of self-worth comes from the outside. Primarily due to external support systems such as privilege or constant praise. Take away that support and the cockiness evaporates.

How you can tell the difference between the two people

Confidence: the confident person doesn’t lay claims to perfection and is not ashamed of his limitations. He never shies away from owning up to his mistakes and you see him taking lessons from a misfortune. Failures don’t him.

“I can accept failure, everyone fails at somthing. But I cant accept not trying.” -Michael Jordan

Someone who truly believes in himself will not only take pride in his own achievements but will have no reservations about acknowledging or even celebrating the success of others. Such people don’t find the accomplishments of others diminishing to themselves.

Cockiness: if they are cocky, you’ll notice they constantly need to hog the spotlight because they feed off people’s validation that they are that good. Arrogance won’t let them own their faults and errors. In their eyes, they can do no wrong.

“An arrogant person considers himself perfect. This is hte chief harm of arrogance. it interferes with a person’s main task in life, becomming a better person.” -Leo Tolstoy

It is absolutely essential for the cocky to always be the top dog by hook or by crook. So deceit and manipulation are fair play to maintain this image. That is why they tend to be more devastated by setbacks because, at the back of their minds, they are aware that the façade is crumbling. And with it goes the vital external support system of praise and adoration.

However, though there is a fine line you shouldn’t be afraid to embrace your confidence because you fear being presumed cocky. This fear has kept others from playing the bigger roles they deserve. If your self-assurance really comes from the inside, you should have no fear.