Watching anyone slowly slip away is painful. When it’s the most important person in your life the experience is devastating.
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There are a lot of things in life that just don’t seem right and certainly aren’t fair. I’ve known people that were taken too soon; they get sick, they have accidents or something malicious happens. None of us are immune to death, and we can’t predict what our sentence will be. One day our light just goes out, and we depart everything we know and care about in our lives.
I have however seen a worse fate.
My grandmother was one of the only constants in life during my first quarter century. When my father abandoned my family before I was born, she took my mom and brothers in. When my mother decided to take off for a year with her new beau during my first year of kindergarten, while also sending my brothers back to their dad to live permanently, it was Nana that took care of me.
If there were anyone in the world who I knew would always be there for me it was her.
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My life revolved around her and the life she led focused on me and my happiness. She defended me, supported me, gave me all I could ever want for and then some. If there were anyone in the world who I knew would always be there for me it was her. Until she wasn’t.
It started to happen in 1997 after she had stopped working at all outside the house. What at one time was just the occasional forgetfulness or lost thought, was now a noticeable affliction. I knew that whatever was going on was not getting better and daily seemed to be more severe. She was slowly slipping away; her health was okay, but her mind was fading.
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Over the next several years everything changed. She lost the ability to drive, to cook, to go to church and teach, even to clean and care for herself. This proud woman who never asked anyone for help now needed more than ever, and now couldn’t ask for it.
As the terrible disease that is Alzheimers ravaged her brain, there were days that I could still see her light. Days when she could remember things from the past and relate a story to me one more time. Then finally those days stopped. I remember it like yesterday; I walked into her sitting in a wheelchair and looked into her eyes and no longer saw the light.
The devastating blow that this woman, the most important person in my life, didn’t even know who I was.
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The devastating blow that this woman, the most important person in my life, didn’t even know who I was. She was now just a shell of what was left of a lifetime of love, happiness, family, and laughter. The dignity that she deserved had been stolen from her. The graceful golden years for her grandchildren and great-grandchildren to enjoy with her, snatched away.
Over the next several months, her conditioned worsened, and her health began to fail. My visits became harder to accomplish and thus less frequent. Then one early morning I received the call that she had passed away. She was finally free from this devastating illness. The woman who played the largest role in making me who I am today was gone.
That will be thirteen years ago next month, and it is still as painful as it was then. Not because she’s gone, as I said we all have to face that, but because of how she had to live her final years. I still feel cheated, and pissed off because she deserved so much better.
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June is Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness month. It’s the month that the Alzheimer’s Association asks for us to “Go Purple” to take action to help end Alzheimer’s. I don’t know if I can ever do enough to fight this currently incurable disease, but I will never stop crusading. I know what it does, I have seen it’s destruction, and it must be stopped.
Nana couldn’t fight it; she wasn’t prepared to.
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Nana couldn’t fight it; she wasn’t prepared to. None of us were. We didn’t recognize the early warning signs, delaying treatment and shortening her years with us. There is no excuse for that today, so many resources are available to help recognize, diagnose and help treat symptoms of this affliction. However, I won’t be happy until we completely irradicate it. I will fight this disease because my Nana couldn’t, and it took her from me.
If you or someone you love is showing any signs of dementia or Alzheimer’s, including these ten warning signs seek professional treatment immediately.
You can go to ALZ.ORG to learn more about how you can make a difference in the fight against Alzheimers.
#ENDALZ #IGOPURPLEFOR NANA
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Photo/Flickr: Joan Sorolla
Well said. Thank you.