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Have you ever thought about your spouse’s love language? What makes her tick? Or have you ever even thought about your own love language?
Have you ever noticed how much your love language is reflected in your communication with your lover, and in the way you communicate with the entire world around you?
Do you speak the love language of your partner? And does she speak yours? Let’s take a step back and let’s review the five love languages and what they actually mean.
● Words of Affirmation: You feel loved when your wife/girlfriend tells you how handsome you look today. And you think you express love to her doing the same thing in return, in complimenting her or saying anything nice to her.
● Acts of Service: You feel loved when she does something for you, e.g. cooking a meal for you. In return, you feel you are giving love if you do any sort of act of service to her. For example, you bring out the rubbish or pick up your lover from work.
● Receiving Gifts: You feel loved when she gifts you a present and vice versa. Gifts make you feel really appreciated, and the size of the gift usually doesn’t matter.
● Quality Time: You feel loved and you think you are giving love in spending quality time with your partner. This could be a simple visit to the cinema, to the restaurant or simply a stroll along the beach while having a quality conversation. It doesn’t have to be a luxury holiday, even though that would be awesome.
● Physical Touch: You feel loved when she touches you in any way and you most likely love to hug people in general and keep touching them randomly while you are interacting with them. Physical touch being your love language doesn’t mean you want to have sex with a lot of people, it simply means your body responds to that sensation of being touched and wanting to touch.
Every person has at least one love language, most of us have two, some others have three. Figuring out your own love language should be pretty easy, right? Think about it for a minute, when do you feel most loved and appreciated and when not at all?
And what about the love language of your partner? How can you find out this and how will this improve your relationship? The answer is easy.
Here’s how to figure out the love language of another.
If your girlfriend keeps buying gifts for you or she will never miss out on buying flowers or a small souvenir for her mother when you visit her family house, it’s clear what her love language is.
Now comes the exciting part. Once you have figured out the love language of the people around you, you can start speaking it. Even if gifts don’t mean anything to you, but you have now understood that this is your wife’s number one love language, bring home more gifts and you will see your relationship change drastically.
If your wife’s love language is quality time, take her out for lunch and have some really high-quality conversations with her. If her love language is acts of service, do the shopping more often for her. If it’s words of affirmations, tell her more often how beautiful she looks today and see her face flourishing like a flower garden in spring.
Now since you understand the entire concept of love languages and how to handle them, you also don’t need to feel offended anymore when someone around you doesn’t speak the same love language as you do. This will change your entire perspective on people’s behavior and how you see your relationships in general.
I will leave you with the challenge of starting right now to figure out your own love language, the love language of your spouse and start changing your relationship for the better in just a few minutes.
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Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
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Photo courtesy iStock.