In Order To Find Yourself, You Must First Get Lost

Four years ago, my wife and I took a trip to Broken Bow, Oklahoma. It was a cool, early January week, and I was teetering on the edge of a panic attack. I hated the path I was on at the time and felt almost directionless as I tried to make sense of what I wanted to do with my life. I had interests and things that I enjoyed, sure, but I had no idea how to get from one step to the next or what that next step would even look like whenever I was ready to take it.

The trip, thankfully, was great. I wrote a lot, read a fair bit, and spent a good deal of time hiking and just sitting in silence out in the woods. The only downside? I had no clue how to bring that peace of mind back home with me.

Something needed to change, so I escaped from the busy world into seclusion. It was the best decision I ever made.

Still, I’d found in Broken Bow the power of meditation and serene clarity. The trip immediately became a yearly staple for me to get away from the hassles of everyday life and map out my plan for the year ahead.

It wasn’t until the third year that I actually figured out how to “bring the cabin back with me.” By implementing proper meditation, among other rituals, into my daily routine, a strong sense of self began to develop. This led to growing confidence and cognitive resilience against a once faltering mental health. In short, I was more or less freed from self-doubt and anxiety, allowing me to become the best version of myself.

I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. — John Burroughs

Although I didn’t need to flee to the woods to clear my mind, it does certainly help matters. Life is complicated and hectic enough as is. Just being able to get away from it all and disconnect from your smartphone for a few days grants us the space to decompress and find our center again. Destressed and invigorated by fresh air and literal distance from the routine hassles of daily life, we free ourselves to reconnect with what really matters.

“Man conquers the world by conquering himself.” — Zeno of Citium

I didn’t start to find my creative direction and make significant progress in my side projects until I learned to clear my mind and listen to the unencumbered wants at my core.

Four years ago that first cabin trip helped me realize that I wanted to make a professional change and carve out for myself a career as a writer. The following year I elected to go back to school and finish my journalism degree with a certificate in sports media to assist in the transition. Then last year, I made another big decision. In being honest with myself and evaluating the landscape of the Master’s program I’d set out to complete when re-enrolling at North Texas the year before, I found that it no longer served my needs or made the most sense to help me toward my ultimate goal. With that in mind, I gave myself permission to finish the undergraduate degree and then move on to my next chapter.

This year was a bit different. Having graduated in December and starting my new career the month prior, I found myself in somewhat uncharted territory. Still, I understood that if I wanted to clear my mind and figure out that next step, the best thing I could do was return to the nurturing environment and just listen.

My discoveries from this year’s trip aren’t of consequence here for this piece, but the essential takeaway is that my yearly retreat is non-negotiable. It helps me reflect on the past year and sort out what worked from what didn’t before really looking within myself for direction on the year ahead, and it’s from that escape to nature that I’ve always found my footing and strode toward personal and professional growth.

If you haven’t tried it before, by all means, give it a shot. You won’t be disappointed.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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