Infatuation usually happens in the beginning phases of the relationship when you have strong feelings for someone, but as you move forward, these feelings fade away. Nevertheless, you must check for infatuation because you risk making permanent decisions based on temporary feelings.
Here are a few signs of infatuation:
The other person seems perfect to you
ANTIDOTE: I firmly believe that you must spend regular time with someone for at least six months to know them well. A person might seem perfect to you on the initial dates, but as you get to know them more (how do they deal with hardships? are they able to manage their emotions during a crisis? does their long-term reality match with their short-term perception that you hold?), you discover new sides to them. There is no guarantee that you will like these new sides or that they will behave in an ideal or healthy manner. So, before you fall head over heels for someone right on the first date, remind yourself of the cardinal rule: it takes time to know people.
You become upset if they do not give you all of their attention
If you expect your partner to make you the center of their lives, you need to gain some perspective about life and relationships. And truth be told, over time, you will get bored of the constant attention and want to seek new avenues to spend your time.
ANTIDOTE: Your relationship must only be a part of your life, and never, I say, NEVER, your entire life. You need to have a life outside of the relationship. When you expect constant attention from someone, you set the foundation for an unhealthy relationship. It puts too much burden on the other person, and you rob the balance out of their lives.
Happy and long-lasting relationships require companionship where both partners have extraordinary personal lives and choose to share a part of their lives with one another. Then, if one partner cancels plans or, in the worst-case scenario, leaves, the other partner has a life they can return to.
The attraction is based on superficial features
Do you like them for how they look, for how popular they are, or because you share your hobbies with them? If you are getting crazy for someone before knowing their values, belief systems, and worldviews, you might be fascinated with them, and that is no guarantee for long-lasting love.
ANTIDOTE: Know that looks or any other superficial feature, for that matter, does not give you any guarantee of a stable partnership. Values and character decide the success of a relationship in the long term. So if you dream fairy tales with someone too early based on features that say nothing about their character, it is no sign of love.
True love demands accepting the other person’s flaws and imperfections, which unfold only over time.
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If you have any questions, hit me up: [email protected]
Thanks for reading.
Check out my other pieces on relationships and life here: Bhanu Singhal
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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