Good enough?
I was just about to leave for my first big tango festival when a message popped up on my phone.
It was from a friend raving over the amazing dancers at the festival and how every dance was the “best one ever”. Then he said how excited he was to dance with me that afternoon.
My excitement shifted — without a clutch — to anxiety.
Was I going to be totally out of my league? I had been working on my tango but I still had much to learn.
I didn’t want to disappoint any kind-hearted, unsuspecting leads who took a chance on an unknown girl. First impressions matter — especially in tango.
That weekend, anxiety pulsed through my body with every guy who asked me to dance.
…
Hello, Insecurity
When I began tango I discovered something terribly awkward. With its complex technique, requisite intimacy and demand for total vulnerability, tango makes people insecure.
Could I get truly comfortable with being raw, vulnerable and (gasp) — imperfect in this unforgiving dance?
I could handle being raw and vulnerable — hey, I was once naked on stage.
But the idea of people politely suffering through dances with me while making mental notes to avoid me for the next decade was unacceptable.
That insecurity drove me to action.
The Driver
When I returned from that festival, I began taking weekly private lessons with a pro. I insisted he was brutally honest when training me. I attended group practices where I asked each partner for specific feedback on how something felt or what would make it feel better.
That insecurity drove me to root out and fix everything that didn’t feel good to my partner.
This all served to help build confidence in my dancing. And it worked. I was developing the confidence I needed and it didn’t take long before I felt that I was good enough to stop training regularly. It was also costing me a small fortune. Welcome to tango.
However….
Confidence carries an ugly risk — assumptions.
The truth is that everything can be done better with new layers of technique. There is always something else to learn that can take our skills to the next level.
And sometimes we get so comfortable — or confident — that we get sloppy over time without realizing it.
Or worse, thinking that we know more than we really do.
…
Embracing it
That dash of insecurity was a good thing for me. It drove me to stay on top of my game.
The next time I travelled to a festival out of state, I had a drastically different experience.
I signed up for all the classes and took private lessons from the pros at the festival.
And when I felt that tinge of insecurity creeping back, this time I knew what to do with it.
I embraced it.
I let it drive to me to work harder, learn more and stay humble.
And that was the key to becoming the dancer I wanted to be. ❤
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Preillumination SeTh on Unsplash
