Invisible Fights

Yesterday, a good friend told me she picked a fight with a fellow blogger in her niche. The guy started covering her topics around the same time as she did, made similar products, and even showed up on the same podcasts to give interviews. There was only one problem: He did everything in a slightly sleazier, less authentic and professional way.

Now, whenever my friend sees his stuff pop up on Google, she rolls up her sleeves and goes: “Okay, here we go, you’re on!” Then, she makes something better, funnier, and more honest, and takes that search traffic right off his plate. Gotcha!

The most interesting part of this fight is that it’s entirely invisible. My friend’s nemesis might not even know she exists. The battle takes place only in my friend’s head — and that is enough for it to be a sufficient motivator.

It’s easy to pick a fight in public. Anyone can do it. Elon does so twice a day on Twitter, and so do millions of others. But how often are those fights backed up with actions? It’s usually the rush of excitement we are after, not true pride in having stood up for what we deeply believe in.

To pick a fight in private and sustain it? That is art. To go on a quest, a crusade, even, without anyone knowing about it, yet continuing to persevere until the mountain yields, that shows genuine passion for a cause — and real belief in your actions.

Sometimes, the world deserves better. Can you give us what we need without first denouncing what we don’t? There’s more beauty in taking the high road than in winning, but nothing beats the feeling of knowing you’ve done both.

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This post was previously published on Niklas Göke’s blog

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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:

White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism

Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box

The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer

What We Talk About When We Talk About Men

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