Can you have too much of a good thing?
When it comes to dating, the answer is maybe. Between Tinder, Bumble, Match, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, texting, sexting, and more—there are an innumerable number of potential partners at your fingertips in the time it takes to hit send.
I was dating at a rate of three or four times a week. Online, offline, it didn’t matter how I met women. It was a numbers game with everyone being disposable, including me. I must admit, connecting with all those women and having sex on a regular basis with a new partner was great, but my wad of cash grew thin and at a certain point, endless dating got old. I yearned for a lover who could be my best friend.
To succeed at the dating game, we need to be comfortable with who we are and know what kind of partner we want. And that usually necessitates engaging in lots of casual dating. I can tell you as a certainty that guys like variety, and this may be why so many men defer getting married.
Most women I know say they enjoy being in a relationship. However, most of the women I’ve met online were dating multiple guys. When everyone involved is dating a half dozen other people, things can get complicated. With this in mind, I humbly offer my perspective on the benefits of dating only one person at a time.
After a few years of dating, dating, and dating, I met a really nice woman. We went out a few times and enjoyed each other’s company. We hit the sack and things seemed pretty cool. I assumed she was seeing other guys, so I continued power-dating. Then I found out that she was only dating me. One day she checked my online profile and asked why I was still active. I gave her a vague answer that kept the door ajar for my continuing to date other people. She dumped me. That’s when it hit me. She was showing respect and giving our relationship a fair shot, while I was chasing other women all over the place. Like so many others, I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.
I licked my wounds and moved on. Then it happened again. I connected with a nice woman, stayed active online and got busted. Then it happened a third time. That’s when I realized that it was time to reconsider my approach. From that point on, I only saw one woman at a time.
I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly things either ended or came together. I’m not preaching that this is the only path to true love, but dating one person at a time worked for me. Within a few months, my decision to focus on only one person at a time rewarded me with the companionship I yearned for and the sexual variety I craved…all with one woman! Go figure.
Are you better off dating one person at a time?
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