When you fall in love and risk your heart you can either open it or close it. Which will really make you happy, and why?
What happens when you break up or have an argument? Do you want to yell at your partner? Do you need to have the last word? Are you crying in your room? Or are you at the local bar looking for the next one?
We all enter relationships on our own terms. Our mindset often determines the steps taken to obtain and maintain a given relationship. Some of us jump in with both feet, while others are more hesitant so they go slower.
The pace is unique for each person, but that is not to say that the slower the pace the less the potential for long lasting love. Relationships take time. They take loyalty, commitment, and passion. Without one of these ingredients you would have something like a flat cake that offers you no real substance.
But take a moment to think how you feel about your relationships. When there is a fight or disagreement, how do you handle it? Do you block out your feelings completely or do you get overly emotional and begin the blame game? Take note that either of these is extreme and will ultimately inhibit your ability to deal with the situation in a suitable manner.
We subconsciously choose whether or not we are heartless or heartbroken through our actions. We take the steps in order for our consciousness to experience certain things to enhance our individual growth as human beings. Some people see love as weakness, so they force themselves not to open up, not to engage in healthy arguments, and not to offer emotional support when it is needed. However, the truth about your ego and power is the fact that it needs to be broken down so that you are able to remove all the layers of insecurity to begin to feel. When you begin to feel you might get your heart broken, and that is the first step towards finding real love.
Ultimately, the take away is simple: to love or to be loved does not mean giving or taking away your power. Real authentic love that you learn through experience only strengthens your inner power as a human being at the end of the day.
Do jealousy and possession consume your relationships?
A relationship is not a competition. We don’t have to try and compare our path to others as it is draining and just self-sabotaging. However, we all have those moments that test our ability to remain sane and composed, especially if we lack the ability to understand self-love.
Do you get jealous over your partner and need to question them every moment of where they are? Possession over someone is not cool. Not only is it not cool, it’s exhausting to have to constantly not feel content and happy with your given relationship. People think possession is power which can easily be translated to a relationship where there needs to be a leader and a follower. We need to learn more about understanding each other without pushing the inferior complex down people’s throats.
Jealousy is rooted in psychological trauma, which usually stems from a previously unhealed broken heart. Do you look for a relationship simply because you are lonely? This is another personal psychological crisis where you feel desperate to not be alone and that someone will basically “save” you. These cycles lead us nowhere positive, as they do not encourage healing our own heartache. We think being heartless offers us power in a relationship and leaves us untouched in terms of our feelings. But leading a heartless life will never give you the ultimate joy that heartbreak offers you. Ironic isn’t it?
Are you afraid to love?
Yes we all may have unique stories or tales of tragic disappointment that might discourage our initial quest for love but the question is do we let those disappointments emotionally get the better of us in our relationships or do we learn from them and apply our gained knowledge as we go along? Broken hearts often get caught up in the broken part so much so that we forget we can, and should, go into our feelings to find our own sense of love there. You might be hurt from the past but you can grow into a better version of yourself for your future. This overall process helps you heal yourself from your broken you. Be open to love you first and the rest will follow.
How self-love can help your broken heart.
A broken heart means you have felt all the pain and agony of your relationship experiences. Congratulations for being open enough to accepting your feelings and emotions in an honest way. You should be commended as not everyone feels comfortable enough to go there, to a place of true vulnerability.
The next step is to consider self-love. What is it? Well, to start off self-love is a simple yet crucial factor in determining our ability to be in a healthy relationship with anyone long term. Self-love gives us the opportunity to look at our own unique internal patterns that drive our need for certain partners or “types” of relationship concepts over time. Until you have a grounding force of self-love, you could be running from relationship to relationship searching for something that you don’t even know you need.
Self-love is found within yourself underneath all the wounded feelings of pain and insecurity that have been trapped over time; beneath all the hurt lies a pure form of joy and gratitude of you, which is the ability to love others as you love yourself. It gives us the capacity to look deep within our own hearts to see where we feel broken or sad and we have the power to change it through self-love practices.
Remember, self-love is simply the ability to gain a true understanding of love within you first rather than saying that someone has left you heartbroken and has ruined your life. So get your heart broken, feel what needs to be felt, and move on stronger and better in your next journey of love. For more info about self-love and how to gain it, visit my Health and Wellness Website.
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