Is it Better to Be Single?

Most people that I know have at least once thought in their lives to not get married. I was in the club too! But, it changed for me.

Honestly, there is no straightforward answer to whether you should be single or not. The bigger question to address is the WHY behind your choice.

If you are someone who is avoiding marriage because you have a notion that marriage, as a whole, is an institution of unhappiness, you are wrong. There are happy marriages and in fact, good marriages make us healthier, both emotionally and physically. Staying out of it because of fear is not the right way to think about it.

Similarly, if you are someone who is choosing to enter into a relationship because you expect happily ever after and marriage is a solution to all your problems, then again, you are setting yourself up for disaster. Marriages, or any relationship for that matter, work best NOT when you need them, but when you want them.

It is important to be happy alone before you expect to be happy with someone else.

So, your quest should not be to find a yes or no answer to the question, but rather to sit down with yourself and analyze the why behind your choice. The greater issue is to address the fear and anxieties that you might have associated with either of the choices.

Once you do that, you will be in a better position to align your decision with your values and personalities. And that should decide if being single is better for YOU or not. Being single is fine, and being married is fine as long as it allows you to be in a position that you want for yourself. Both options have their positives and negatives. Being single offers freedom at the risk of loneliness, and being in a relationship offers companionship at the risk of irritation, anger, and frustration.

What stands as a better choice for you is based on which combination of pros and cons you want for yourself.

However, I stand in favor of marriage. Humans are wired for connection and we all need love. And marriage is an excellent arrangement to fulfill all our emotional and physical needs. The problem occurs when we choose a relationship solely because we are terrified of being alone.

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In my opinion, stay single as long as you cannot find someone who can offer you an ideal relationship (which is one backed by support, understanding, trust, mutual respect, and love). But once you meet someone where the relationship does not feel like a compromise, but rather an add-on to your happiness, go for it! (All the while ensuring that it is an add-on and you would be just fine without it as well. That is important.)

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Thanks for reading.

Check out my other pieces on relationships and life here: Bhanu Singhal

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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