I’ve been online dating for many many years now. I like online dating both as a relationship coach and a person looking to find, what I hope will be, a long-term partner/husband.
What are the benefits:
*You get to see their profile and filter through it prior to them even contacting you or knowing about you
*Often there are questions such as OKCupid.com that you can see a % of compatibility
*You can chat with them via the chat system before meeting or talking on the phone, giving personal info out
*You get important information about them that you cannot or may not get just meeting organically
Is online dating a safer choice?
For me as a single woman, it is important to see how much they drink, do they smoke, want more kids ( I’m done with childbirth) those things can be asked in conversation when you meet organically however with chemistry affecting our thinking because our brain is on a hormone high, there could be hesitation to answer it honestly – for fear of rejection- or to ensure another date. There is often subconscious motives we don’t notice or don’t want to notice. Chemistry is not a healthy way to choose a partner.
Bars can be an unhealthy place to meet but not because of what you are thinking. Why because studies show that after one drink our brain is already seeing a person so much differently we won’t make good decisions. With every drink after that, studies show they become more attractive and our decision making part of our brain is more likely to choose that person then if we had nothing to drink.
I find that in finding out what someone has to say about themselves without those barriers is far better.
I’ve also met men organically and felt that I had to start from zero. I didn’t know any qualifying information beforehand. That doesn’t necessarily feel safer than online dating as many experts in the dating and relationships mention when writing about the negatives of online dating.
I want to weed out those that already have deal-breakers. No matter how handsome he is, I won’t get involved with a smoker.
While others are seeing the negative side of online dating, I still feel after 5 years of it I’ve had more relationships start with online dating. It feels safer to me. I have a vetting system that really works to get the information I need early on. That way I have more men that meet my standards on the first date.
Online Dating is a Candy Store for Singles
Yes, it can feel like a candy store for available men and women but if you know what to ask, what to look for and how to listen for deal breakers you can meet quality dates. Always like meeting someone out organically, there are risks. I find it to be riskier to meet men outside of online dating. I have actually had scary situations show up with the ones my acquaintances and friends just thought was a “great guy” than the ones I’ve met on online dating.
Think about it! You can be a smart online dater. Filter out the ones you don’t desire contact with and communicate until you feel safe moving forward with video/ phone or in person meeting.
Raise the standards! buyer beware!
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