You’re semi-locked up in your home right now with your wife. Great time for more sex, right? Like many things in marriage, it depends.
Times of crisis can bring you closer together. Think of all the end of the world or disaster movies where the leads fall in love as things fall apart around them. Unfortunately, life doesn’t follow a movie script.
So much about what’s going on right now is not normal. So why should your sex life be? Yes, one alternative is to take advantage of all the time you are spending together in the same place. While COVID-19 may bring you closer in terms of physical distance, the emotional distance may not be diminishing. And that’s the gap that really matters.
All things being equal, sex can be a great stress reliever for both men and women. But are things equal in your home right now? They aren’t in mine. When my husband was sick, I was doing everything to keep things running. No accolades necessary and I was more than happy to do it. Now that he’s both recovered and immune, he’s doing all the errands out of the house to protect me. It’s also just the two of us now so that makes life easier too. What’s the status in your home?
Many men, maybe you, let the physical act of sex serve as a channel for emotions too hard or unfamiliar to deal with in other ways. Getting busy is an easier way to engage than having a conversation about feelings, either hers or yours. I mean, you can’t change the situation so what’s the point in talking about it?
Because. It. Connects. You.
You have concerns. I know you do. You love your wife and family and don’t want anything to happen to them. You want to provide for them and protect them. But circumstances may be making that harder. Even if things are going fairly well for you now, you don’t know how long that will last. No one does. That is stressful.
Reaching towards each other is what is going to see you and your marriage through this. Sex is one way to make this happen, but it is better to come from a place of caring not substitution. Your wife will know the difference. She is stressed as well and an invitation to connect, instead of one of release, will go over much better. You may not get the desired result in the moment, but you will be laying the groundwork for a later encounter. Can that be enough?
What’s your biggest challenge with intimacy in the time of COVID?
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Previously published on foundationscoachingnc.com.
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