While men are still portrayed as stoic in our culture, they experience heartbreak just as deeply as women do. Sometimes even more
One of the biggest problems with love is that sometimes it doesn’t last. When love comes to an end, the effects of losing that person can be devastating. There’s nothing more painful than losing the person you love and then having to pick up the pieces and function in the world without them again (besides, perhaps, losing a limb. I hear that can hurt like hell, too). Whether you call it heartbreak or lovesickness, it still means the same thing: something is missing, and that something isn’t coming back.
A recent survey by Elite Singles found that when it came to being lovesick, it’s the guys who suffer the most. Of the 95 percent of those surveyed who admitted to being lovesick at some point in their lives, 25 percent more men suffer from lovesickness than women during a relationship’s demise. But why?
According to psychologist, Dr. Wiebke Neberich, the cause could be due to the fact that “women are more often the one to break off the relationship, and men have a propensity to overestimate a woman’s interest, meaning that they also get brushed off and suffer from unrequited love more often.”
What Hurts Us The Most?
Men and women may suffer differently, but we can all agree that when it comes to a breakup, nothing cuts as deep as the pain inflicted by or from another person. Eighty percent of those polled cite that reason as the most painful cause of heartbreaks, followed by 29 percent who feel that being placed second to their partner’s life is the worst, with family disapproval and issues in the bedroom coming up in third and fourth place, respectively.
How Men and Women Deal
Lovesickness is a legitimate ache that can cause both emotional and physical issues. It’s not just a breakup, but a loss that can take weeks, months and sometimes even years to recover from. While stereotypically, we might think of a woman on her couch making love to a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, each person deals with their despair in their own way and surprisingly, drowning in carbs isn’t on the top of the list for men or women.
Roughly 61 percent of men and 76 percent of women turn to their friends to get through their sadness. It may be exhausting if you’re on the receiving end of that call, but don’t worry, you’ll be up to bat at some point too. It’s inevitable.
For women who’d rather not burden their friends, their top choice is to grieve alone (54 percent), while men choose to keep their head down and get back to the grindstone (44 percent.) Trying to eat your weight in mac ‘n’ cheese didn’t even come up as coping mechanism until after grieving alone, working, and treating yourself.
The point is, whether you’re suffering from a breakup now, have in the past, or your next one is right around the corner, we’ve all been there. Not a single person will be able to go through the entirety of their life without experiencing it at least once. Isn’t it nice to know you’re not alone? The truth is, people are dealing with it the same way you are, even if it appears otherwise.
image credit: Flickr/sobermusings
Appeared originally in Your Tango
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