Question: I kissed my roommate on New Years Eve! I am freaking out. I didn’t mean for it to happen. We were drinking and we have always been flirtatious with each other but I never thought anything of it. Now everything is weird and I don’t want to ruin what we have but it was an AMAZING kiss. He is like my best friend. What should I do? Please help me!
Answer: I’m sorry, this is such a great question! It’s such a high-level problem! Your horror is so beautiful! I don’t mean to make fun, your authentic experience is truly rich 🙂
First, it’s important that we drink responsibly. I personally love a great glass of Cabernet… Yet I need to be aware if I’m at a party and certainly if I’m going to be driving that I don’t drink beyond my legal limit or to a place where I would not be aware of my actions or make unwise and potentially harmful decisions. Additionally when dating, it’s easy to feel a little nervous and have one too many drinks, yet it’s important we learn to navigate intense emotions and drink responsibly especially so we don’t do anything we regret 😉
Now, back to you love… I’m not sensing you were wasted or over drinking out of nervousness, yes?
What this sounds like given you’ve always been flirtatious with him… a few beers might have dissolved the appropriateness of your friendship to reveal the true sexual desires that have always been there, yes?
Let me know if I am off here, kay?
Yet let me ask you some questions love. Why does dating instantly have to ruin a friendship? Wouldn’t you want to be dating your best friend anyways? Wouldn’t you want to be sexually involved with someone you can be totally honest with? Why would it be weird to experience sexual intimacy with someone you trust perhaps more than anybody?
Is what’s weird just that that your authentic truth is now exposed? Is what’s weird just that you are now in a vulnerable place where you could be rejected?
I love that it was an amazing kiss 😉 I love that you are being flooded with all these feelings and questions and having such an incredible experience of your truth, friendship and intimate desires.
My recommendation is to be real and authentic with your best friend and talk about it! Talk about the flirtatiousness from the past, talk about the amazing kiss, talk about your friendship, talk about what really matters, talk about truth… Don’t judge you and don’t judge him and just be real and see what transpires.
Let go of control in lead with your heart and if by the end you decide that you would preferred to be friends not lovers, then you can chalk it up to a great drinking buddy story!
And by the end of your conversation you discover that you both have deeper feelings and desires to explore a romantic relationship together, you can talk about what works for both of you, talk about your values and dreams, and talk about what it would take to maintain the friendship with respect and honor no matter what happened in the long run.
I think you’d really enjoy my complimentary series called “Vulnerability is the new Sexy“ for women at www.allanapratt.com because to conscious noble man, a confident yet vulnerably authentically open woman is a rare precious jewel in today’s world… and a noble badass able to be present during a woman’s authentic emotions and stay grounded having her back, is indeed a rare gift as well.
I can’t wait to hear your next update my love! I have your back!
Deliciously, Allana xoxo
p.s. Gentlemen…End the Fear of Rejection.
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Ladies…Be irresistible. Feel sacred. Attract him now.
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