How awesome would it be if you could be in love all the time?
I’m not even necessarily talking about being in love with the same person the whole time, but how exhilarating would it be if you could fall in love with a new person every time the last one didn’t work out?
I feel like some people are capable of such a feat. I’m sure you’ve all known at least one individual who always manages to swoon for one person or the next.
I used to think such individuals weren’t really in love — that they just thought they were in love because they didn’t know better.
Once I grew to accept that love isn’t tangible, however, and that it doesn’t exist outside the mind, I had to likewise accept that being in love only requires you to believe you are in love.
True, some loves are deeper than others, but you can’t say a shallow love is not love — it has “love” right there in the title.
Every person experiences love differently. Each definition of love varies, just as the depth of each person’s love does. Nevertheless, every time we believe ourselves to be in love, we actually are in love.
I mean, what does being in love mean if it’s not the feeling we experience when we believe ourselves to be in love?
We all experience being in love differently — we each have our own creative twist on our romantic, happy ending. More interestingly is the way we perceive being in love, and how it changes over the years.
With each new relationship, we carry baggage — memories, experiences, lessons learned. Each time we fall in love, we change a little. We become slightly different people.
Unfortunately, every time our love fails, it becomes more difficult to fall in love again. That’s the tricky part about love… half the time, we aren’t even sure what we’re experiencing is love. Which is hilarious in itself as, like I mentioned before, it’s all in our heads.
Every time we love and have our heart broken or simply become disillusioned, falling in love another time becomes less likely. We become pickier. We become more skeptical. We lose trust in other people and in our ability to pick the right type of person.
This is really a shame; falling in love — I’d argue — is the best part of life. Not the successes, not the money, not the traveling nor experiencing the world, not helping save the world, but loving another human being. Sure, it’s selfish… but it feels so good!
If you can fall in love with a different person as soon as the last one didn’t pan out, then do so. In our day and age, it comes down to a numbers game. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find a match.
The more times you fall in love, the more you’ll grow to understand love. The only other part is making sure you don’t let a great one pass you by. If you find someone you love then continue to love that person for as long as humanly possible. It’s all in your head. You can make yourself do it.
Fall in love regularly, and do so with those you barely even know, but be careful with whom you choose to love — not fall in love with, but really love. You don’t need to know someone to fall in love with him or her.
In fact, we all fall in love with people who are basically complete strangers. However, not until you are capable of loving at a certain depth are you capable of truly loving.
Anyone can fall in love. But to really love someone, to know what loving someone means, you have to have some experience.
Only when you begin to understand what having that person in your life means to you, will you be capable of loving someone in the fullest sense. Not until you understand how it hurts not having this person by your side, will you understand how much you need him or her.
To love in its fullest form is to need someone’s presence in your life in order to be happy. If you cannot be truly happy without an individual, if you cannot imagine living the rest of your life without ever seeing this person again, then you finally understand love.
Falling in love is part of the search. Being in love is part of the learning experience. Loving is the goal. Once you love, don’t stop. Don’t screw things up. Don’t let your ego get in the way. Don’t be mean or spiteful.
If you have a good thing, then be smart and keep it a good thing. You can fall in love a hundred times — it’s possible. You can fall in love with every stranger you meet.
Hell, you should fall in love with strangers because that’s when love is its most magical. But you won’t really love more than a handful — if you’re really, really lucky. Fall in love with as many strangers as you can until you find a person worth loving, and then stick with him or her.
If you love someone then not only must that person be deserving of your love, but you must need that person’s love.
by Paul Hudson
This post originally appeared at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission.
A young writer, philosopher, and entrepreneur, Paul Hudson (@MrPaulHudson) has been writing for Elite Daily nearly since the start. He primarily addresses the successes and downfalls of love and life.
Photo: Aaron Guy Leroux/Flickr