Intimacy is easily misunderstood. Intimacy is not about total togetherness, nor is it endless passion. Loving intimacy happens with raw vulnerability and the courage to grow in depth and passion.
You have your own story and your own way of communicating. As a couple, how you listen and speak to one another creates a particular pattern of interaction. It is possible to change communication patterns, and you can alter them as you need to for your growth both as individuals and as loving partners. When you fall into habits of being more focused on the past or the future than the present, you may get off track in your communication.
When you relax into the moment, you are able to see and hear and be present with each other. This makes room for being able to interact at your best because you are fully present. While in this state, you can share in a way that paves the path for loving intimacy to be able to grow. When you experience the peace of being more present, this gives you a better opportunity to build on your experience of joy and contentment together. If you develop a pattern where you can fully engage even just some of the time, your communication and the experience of working together will help you grow in intimacy.
When two people in love can make it a practice to be present, attuned to the movement of interaction, intimacy can become a beautiful dance. When you blend open vulnerability and the courage to dive into more presence, you expand your opportunity for loving interaction and deeper resonance. With this strength of courage to ride through your vulnerability you can move forward, even through fear, or doubt, as you hold the space for your own essence and compassion for yourselves and your partner. This allows trust to grow with the rawness of vulnerability.
Intimacy is easily misunderstood. Intimacy is not about total togetherness, nor is it endless passion. Either of these expectations may be based on a story or an image that can be confused with actual intimacy. It is possible to be very lost and confused when you are basing expectations on an image or story that may have been sparked by a fairy tale, or a romantic tale, or an airbrushed photograph, or a fantasy of your own design.
You can become so obsessed with stories and images of how you think it is supposed to be that you can pursue the quest for it, losing balance and descending into addiction or depression; sacrificing self-esteem and balance, and your own self-governing sense of choice.
The good news is that such a misguided path is not required and intimacy and contentment is possible, and you can create a more conscious, authentic relationship. Putting aside your expectations of how you think a relationship is supposed to be can allow you to be more available in the moment for co-creating an intimate relationship that grows naturally by deepening into authentic presence, bringing passion into the dance.
Nurturing this loving intimacy happens with raw vulnerability and the courage to grow in depth and passion. Approaching your partner, in the moment, with genuine presence and courageous vulnerability, you are in a position to co-create increasing love, joy and intimate passion.
Photo by Flickr/Vladimir Pustovit