Let Them Go

Freedom, Not Possession.

This has been my goal and desire, while I welcomed those into my heart and life who have shown me the slightest kindness.

I have not always been discerning enough to keep at arm’s length those who may hurt me for their own benefit.

I learned over the past few decades of my existence that even if you love someone from every part of your soul, love is not enough for someone too scared to let go of their own fears and shame to keep themselves safe.

I learned the best way to stay true to myself and find those who will love all of me is to let them go.

Let people go who bargain with you over the basics of your needs and desires.

Let people go who pretend to be your friend to keep you close, and do not provide the same care and love in return.

Let people go who keep score on what they do for you, expecting a payout in return.

Let people go who demand loyalty and validation, while treating your love like a transaction.

Let people go who make you jump through multiple hoops for you to find acceptance in their eyes, in their life, or with their people.

Let people go who make you question your worth and worthiness to be loved.

Let people go who know they have hurt you and continue to do so in the same way.

Let people go whose fear of loss is stronger than their love for you.

Let people go who require you to sacrifice for them, so they don’t have to take a risk.

Let people go who put responsibilities they don’t accept on your shoulders to carry for them.

Let people go who expect you to fix the ways that they can not accept accountability.

Let people go who tell you they love you, then leave you feeling abandoned and neglected over and over again.

Let people go who look down on you or feel superior to you based on their own privilege, resources, and entitlement.

Let people go who use their money or resources to control, entrap, or keep you attached to them and unable to leave.

Let people go who expect you to fulfill a specific role in their life, instead of co-creating a life with you.

Let people go who would never do what they ask you to do for them.

Let people go who confuse control with love, and only want access to the way you love them.

Let people go who care more for the safety and security of a facade than the real life they can create with you.

Your love is not enough to protect them from their own shame and fear of who they are and who they can be with you.

Real, authentic love that embodies freedom without possession is learning to accept and love yourself truly as you are, so you can make space for those who will truly accept and love all of you.

Let people go. Let them be who they are.

Maybe someday they will truly love themselves enough to authentically love you, too.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.