When we allow ageist misconceptions and stereotypes to set the tone of cross-generational communication, we give prejudice a microphone.
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On the tight wire walk that is life in the 21st century, there’s one hidden obstacle for all of us, no matter where we are in our respective journeys.
That obstacle is age and the biases that stem from it.
Often, young people are patronized and brought down from triumphant moments in the name of pragmatism (for example: “Congrats on graduating college, sure hope the job market doesn’t chew you up and spit you out.”)
In exchange, folks more advanced in life are relegated to peddling devalued advice and treated with perceived disrespect.
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Granted, in both instances it could just be a mere perception issue. But the reality of it all still exists: ageism affects everyone from 10 to 110.
We live in a world that is happy to discriminate, either overtly or in a more covert fashion.
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Some tend to believe ageism is a bias that only affects older people. In reality, young people face it just as often. Normally, that can be specified as adultism. But that’s a different topic for a different day. Today we’re going to focus on the general narrative of age-related predilection.
When we allow ageist misconceptions and stereotypes to set the tone of cross-generational communication, we give prejudice a microphone.
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I’ve faced ageism first hand. Most people have.
For me, it came from allies with good intentions. Well-meaning mentors, trying to pass wisdom, end up coming off as patronizing and self-righteous. And in turn, said mentors may end up not getting a valuable piece of advice across because they’re viewed as the least relevant source of information. At the end of the day, both parties walk away upset and, in all honesty, a little hurt.
Unfortunately, this is a relatively mild example of ageism. We live in a world that is happy to discriminate, either overtly or in a more covert fashion.
It’s natural, but evolving beyond it is how we move towards a better society.
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Groups of young and active community members often face resistance from old guards. That resistance is doubled when faced with political and public policy matters that directly affect people of all ages. When it comes right down to it, young people are tasked with not only trying to better understand the world around them but trying to navigate a veritable minefield of contempt.
In return, older adults face employment discrimination and, as they move forward in life, might feel like they’re seen as senile and of no value. According to AARP, over one-third of older voters report that they or someone they know has experienced age discrimination in the workplace.
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So where is the disconnect? Why are we having such a hard time conveying certain aspects that define our generation and let unique insights get swept under the rug? How can we let the people who raised us, and provided for us when we were very young, be actively discriminated against?
The answer is complex, but acknowledging our own predisposed prejudices is a solid start. Everyone, and yes, I mean everyone, has held some sort of prejudice. It may be benign as “I don’t like cats” but it’s still there. It’s natural, but evolving beyond it is how we move towards a better society.
After that, we have to look at the way we’re presenting our thoughts and feelings. It might sound gooey, but it’ll save a whole lot of frustration (not to mention time).
This is where we bring in the heaviest hitting question: Am I or have I ever been ageist? Only you can figure that out. Be objective and reasonable, soon enough you’ll know.
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If you’re feeling a little guilty because of how you might’ve acted in the past, it’s okay. It’s moving on from here that counts the most. We all can be oblivious to how we put forward ideas and feelings. Casual ageism is the most common variant of this brand of bias.
Equality isn’t giving someone else a head start or giving them some other kind of unfair advantage, it’s letting them start at the same point as you.
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Putting aside decades worth of outside influence is a start. Ignoring the little bell in our head that goes off when we think, “I shouldn’t listen to this person because I remember so-and-so said something belligerent about this person’s age/generation” can go a long way.
After that, it’s a matter of adjustment. Thinking before you speak is a pretty good rule of thumb. It’s old as time but the reason it still sticks is because it’s still resolute. And, at the very least, it buys you time to vet your thoughts carefully.
Try to remember you don’t know everything about every single person. Remembering each person has lived their own life under a unique set of circumstances is crucial. Experiences often define who we are as human beings. To strip away one’s experiences is to strip away their identity.
Finally, try your best to treat everyone equally. Equality isn’t giving someone else a head start or giving them some other kind of unfair advantage, it’s letting them start at the same point as you.
Fairness is a principle that every person relies on at some point or another in their life. Being that pillar for another person, a fellow human, is all we have at times.
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Photo: Getty Images