I don’t think anyone would disagree that life is an often-confusing swirl of happenstance and constant change. The interactions of natural events and human-made circumstances can create a veritable maelstrom of stimuli. Then, there’s our internal worlds, a place that can be as intimidating as the physical environment all around us. All of this creates an incredibly complex world that we mortals must deal with every day.
Yes, life is complicated. We often have no control over outer circumstances. But, we can work on becoming masters of our inner selves. A benefit of a thoroughly explored and well-defined mental and emotional “ecosystem” is the ability to make clear decisions. This learnable skill can bring much-needed simplicity to the vicissitudes of life.
Below are some ways you can cultivate what is known in positive psychology as “intrinsic motivation” (as opposed to “extrinsic motivation”). These methods can help you gain the clarity of decision sharp enough to slice through the Gordian Knot of life’s complexity.
Set Your Standards
Take some time to reevaluate your self-worth, and how much you value yourself. This may require you to work on how you feel about yourself. Contrary to what we’ve been taught, this is less about self-esteem and more about self-love. You can work to accept yourself as you are now, and dedicate yourself to working on things you want to improve. Along with this work, you should set your standards for how you want to be treated by others.
Once you have done this work, you will be ready when someone or something demands a decision from you. If you have set the standards for what you do and don’t want out of life, the sometimes-overwhelming obstacle of choice becomes simple. You can now ask yourself: “In this situation, what decision aligns with my standards?”
Find Your Whys
What is important to you in life? Who do you love? What are your goals and passions? What do you want to achieve? These questions can help you determine your “whys,” things that make you feel alive and light you up inside. The whys are your sources of inspiration. They are the things you hold dear, and give you reasons to preserve when life gets tough.
Take time to identify and solidify your whys. Just like your standards for how you want to be treated, they will become your guiding principles and give you clarity. When the time comes to find your direction again in the midst of chaos, you can ask yourself: “what decision will serve and protect my whys?”
Caveat: Simple Doesn’t Mean Simplistic
Note that simple and simplistic are not the same thing. Many crimes against humanity, both big and small, can arise from a simplistic worldview. When we fool ourselves into believing the outside world needs to be simplified, rather than our inner worlds, it generally involves thinking less of other people. This is always dangerous.
Again, simplicity comes from within. It never depends on trying to cram the objective reality around us into the subjectivity of our perceptions. We must always remember we share the world with other human beings as complex as us. To deny others their own complexity is to commit a crime against humanity. When in doubt, the old Golden Rule still applies: treat others as you want to be treated.
So, set your standards, remember your whys, and don’t treat others simplistically. This will give you the confidence to take decisive action in the best interest of yourself and others.
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