We here, at Life Explained, would like to apologize. There are a lot of things wrong in the world today, and we are very sorry about that. Obviously, most of them are not our fault, in fact, all most all of them are not our fault, at least not directly.* But, we feel so bad that you, or your loved ones, or your friends, co-workers, neighbors, or cellmates, are experiencing difficulty.
To that end, we are launching the Life Explained Apology Division. We will apologize to anybody, anywhere, for anything. For a small fee.
If you forget your anniversary don’t fret. We will apologize, and offer an excuse. An ironclad reason that will provide you with plausible deniability under the most grueling line of questioning.
When a greeting card and government-funded, and backed, excuse is not quite enough, and things are beginning to unravel under a withering line of interrogation that is when you will be glad you ordered the Deluxe Extended Warranty. For only pennies a day.** We will rush an attorney with an armed guard in a bold rescue mission.
So, stick around for one more beer, play another round of golf, stay for one more episode of Dr. Who. It does not matter, you are safe and secure in the loving arms of the Life Explained Division of Apologies and Forgiveness, and Special Forces.
Sign up now, you won’t be sorry, we will.
* Life Explained Division of Lawyers would like us to add; “this post in ways implies acceptance of, or responsibility for, any problems, anybody anywhere may be having. Problems are part and parcel of living and we don’t hear you whining around about that, do we? So, pack your troubles in your old kit bag, and go blame General Dynamics, or Boeing, or Jet Propulsion Laboratories, they are the real nuisance.”
** About 75 pennies a day. $22.50 a month.
Previously Published on Life, Explained