When you feel like people are abandoning you, don’t worry. Life will get better when you realize it’s in your best interest to stop chasing people who don’t really care about you! It took me a long time to understand this truth, but the older I got, the more I realized it was far easier for me to be single than with anyone.
Chasing a person who doesn’t want or love you can be draining and draining mentally and physically. It’s a lot of work to keep up, and you constantly feel like you’re not good enough and that the relationship is going nowhere. You start to feel less like a person, more like a possession! Think about it, and you become another person’s servant instead of a lover. Anytime they want to hang out or just have some fun together, they have to ask you and ask you again until they are satisfied with your schedule or needs and give consent.
I used to do this all the time, and no matter how many times I asked or tried, it was never enough. I’d ask them, “do you want to come over tonight?” and they’d say “no,” and I’d be confused. So then I started asking them every day, and they still said no. Why?
Not because they didn’t love me enough, but because they weren’t into me in the first place! They didn’t want to invest in a relationship with me. They didn’t want to put in the work for something that would be permanent but not perfect. They didn’t want a long-term commitment because they knew I was not the Guy for them.
So you ask why?
Well, love those who love you back, but please don’t chase those who don’t; it’s exhausting!
If you’re in a situation like I was, then here are some pointers that might help you see your situation clearer and realize what needs to happen next-
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1. Don’t Force Anyone To Make Connections
If someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, they are not the right person for you. Plain and simple!
You have to trust me on this one. I was chasing someone who was just using me. They knew I would call every day, they knew what I wanted out of the relationship, and they still didn’t give it to me because they weren’t interested in pursuing a long-term future with me.
I kept chasing them, looking for their approval and hoping that they would love me one day. I’d even ask their friends why they didn’t like me or try to find out what was wrong with me. I felt rejected and worthless because I was so attached to this person. I kept running back to them because I wanted to prove my worthiness.
But the truth is, if someone does not want you in their life, it’s probably for the best that you stop chasing them around and move on from them. They do not want to be with you, and that’s their right.
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2. Don’t try to be someone you are not
Don’t try to be someone you are not. If someone doesn’t love you for the way you are, it’s a blessing in disguise.
I had this girlfriend who did nothing but criticize me and make me feel bad about myself because she was so used to a certain type of boy that she was used to being with.
Even though I was different, she didn’t like it. She wasn’t happy with me, but she kept chasing me around anyway because the “type” she was used to dating looked sort of like me. she wasn’t the right girl for me, and that fact hurt my feelings more than anything else; in the world!
If someone doesn’t love you, they shouldn’t have to love you. They should just be happy with yourself and not feel pressured by anyone else.
The right person will love the way you are, not try to change you into something else. If a person loves you for who you are, they will want to love and respect who you are and not change it. It’s ok for people to date for other reasons like money or status or whatever; those things don’t matter in a relationship.
But if someone is going to be with you because they want more than your heart, ditch them quickly! They don’t deserve your time!
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3. If someone loves you, they will prove it
If someone loves you, they will prove it. If they aren’t willing to put in the effort to love you, they don’t truly care about you. I know it seems like this isn’t true, but let’s remember that everyone is different, and love is different for everyone. If a person doesn’t respect your feelings, time, or life, how can they really love you? They probably don’t…
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4. If someone isn’t willing to work things out with you, move on
Life is too short for people to ignore their feelings for long periods of time. If you are dating someone who does not want to make up after an argument or make time for you, they don’t love you as much as they say they do. You should never feel like your relationship status is going nowhere if the person really cares about you!
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5: Love yourself!
The most important person in the world is you. If someone doesn’t love you as much as you love yourself, then walk away. You need to be happy and loved for who you are! The right person will want to make you feel confident about who you are and not make your self-esteem go down. Someone who loves you will love the way you are, but someone else can’t make that happen. If it’s not happening now, it probably won’t happen in the future!
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Recap
- Don’t Force Anyone To Make Connections.
- if someone does not want you in their life, it’s probably for the best that you stop chasing them around and move on from them.
- Don’t try to be someone you are not.
- If someone loves you, they will prove it.
- If someone isn’t willing to work things out with you, move on.
- Love yourself! The most important person in the world is you.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: TETrebbien on Unsplash
