Love Is Much More Than Our Unstable Emotional State

Falling in love is not the true love, it is just a part of it, a very volatile one.

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A very common bias of human beings is that when we see someone attractive to us, we start to project our dreams onto the subject of our interest. We see those people in a way that we would like to see,instead of what they really are. We simply ignore particular traits or behaviours which are unpleasant to us and focus on more pleasant ones. This is what is called selective perception.

Then, one day. maybe after months or even years, we wake up from our blurred vision. We start to wonder where the person we fell in love has gone. Well, he or she is not gone, they’ve never been there at this much of reality. That’s where we exactly see the direct representation of external reality.

But being in a fairy tale state for such a long time and waking up from it makes us feel deceived. Deceived by our beloved one. It is like: ‘finally he showed his true colours.’

But the reality is, he has always been showing his true colours yet we were simply not wanting to see it.

So who is the victim here? We may be the one who has been deceived but not necessarily by someone else.

Yes there is this feeling of resentment, anger and bitterness. But why pose those feelings to someone else rather than the actual criminal? Isn’t it easier to see the core of the issue and solve it quickly? Why blame others?

That is the point of facing our own unstable emotional state and the question of what we are going to do about it.

That is the turning point of love, where it has the chance to become “real love” by choosing to stay in love consciously or releasing it away by falling out of love. And maybe immediately searching for brand new ones?