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I’d prefer it be like Chipotle. Healthy and always on time.
My eyes welled up as he told me.
He was being moved away from our assignment. Back many states away. Away from that little church in the south. Away from the cots, couches and little hideaway where we’d Netflix and Chill but mostly chill because we were so exhausted from the 12 hour work days.
He hugged me as we sat under the covers watching Parks & Rec. I wondered how I even got myself into this mess in the first place. Why I let myself, once again, get tangled up in someone who would have to go away.
I always fall for those who are going away.
Ugh.
We met over a year later, actually.
I still thought I was going to graduate school and he still thought living in New York City was everything he’d ever dreamed of. I’m really not even sure if he’s still there, but when I saw him, so much was different.
People just change so damn much. Their attitude. Their bodies. Their facial hair that they finally grow out and never learn how to tame correctly. Like it’s really that hard to just buy a trimmer.
I try to hang onto those beautiful moments. Those little getaways of holding hands and giggling to each other. Finding dark places and hoping not to get caught. Falling too hard for someone I know who isn’t going to stick around. Not because they’re going to break my heart, but because the universe can’t seem to find the right person at the right time.
Or maybe this is all the universe’s plan. She always seems to give me the right kick towards where I should be going, but never lets me know how painful it is to get there. I guess there’s a certain beauty to that, isn’t it? Some sort of comfort in believing there’s a higher plan.
I’m not even religious and honestly, this could all be nonsense. But even if it is, it’s comforting nonsense. It’s actually inspiring nonsense. Because I think by trusting your gut and believing in that intuition, things have a strange way of working out.
And that, my loves, is what I’m clinging to nowadays.
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This post was previously published on www.psiloveyou.xyz and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Istockphoto.com
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