A father has a conversation with his daughters about love and hate, life and death, and choices.
After the recent tragedies in Paris and San Bernardino we’re all probably thinking about where our world is heading.
The question I ask myself is do I operate from love or fear. Men have been killing others forever, men are the ones now doing most of these shootings, leading the terrorist attacks, and going into our schools and killing innocent children. Why?
It’s quite simple, they operate out of fear not love. They are losing their own internal battle within themselves and then unleashing it out to the world. So what can I do? First is to not give any of my energy to these incidents, this is the circle of life. I gave up watching the news a long time ago (I think it’s been seven years), It always seems like I’m the last one to know when something like this happens. I love it that way.
See, for me, I have taken the approach that I love our world and truly believe we are making progress, especially us men. We have to start within, each one of us. Don’t watch the news, it’s not positive and the media is out of control. We have all the power within to create the world we want.
I believe we are just scratching the surface on how powerful we are, especially our thoughts and intentions. Put love at the forefront. Right now we men are fighting the battle to keep our families together, our careers rewarding, and to love ourselves unconditionally. This is where we need to focus and not on these outside events. We must learn the gift of surrender. The only person we can control is ourselves.
When these tragic events happen how do we respond, out of love or fear? Let me share with you a story of how I handled the Paris shooting with my three daughters 15, 13, and 12. Of course, I was the last one to know out of us four, we sat at the dinner table and discussed the incident. Questions were asked such as how many people had died? Why would someone do that? I’m scared, what should I do? Will ISIS come here?
Second as a man how can I protect my children from these types of events? Surrender. Love them as much as possible while they are here. Lay them a foundation that there never alone. God knows what he/she is doing. Call on her anytime you feel scared. Back to the dinner table, before I went into my reasoning with my girls, the four of us held hands and prayed for all the people that died and their families. Then we prayed for the shooters. Yes the shooters. Love over Fear. Love over Hate. Then we talked about the number of people that died. We agreed it was all over the news and it was non-stop so unless you lived underground away from the world you knew this was going on.
Then I said, “Girls do you know how many people die of smoking each day?” “How many Dad?” “1300 a day in the United States alone according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Do you know how many people die a day in drunk driving accidents?” “How many Dad?” “30. A day.” “Wow Dad that’s a lot!” “Yes, girls people die every day. Some die too early because of a tragic shooting- God must have a plan for them. People die from smoking and drunk driving every day and God has a plan for them too.”
“I love you so I hope you hear my words about smoking and drunk driving.” “Oh yes,” from the 15 year-old. “smoking disgusting, drunk driving, Dad I won’t ever get in the car if someone has been drinking.”
Will they smoke? Will they get in that car? Surrender.
It’s taken me awhile, I’m taking the love route over fear every time. I’m winning this war!
Would you like to help us shatter stereotypes about men?
Receive stories from The Good Men Project, delivered to your inbox daily or weekly.
Photo: Getty Images