You give yourself away to your kids constantly.
I know because I have two little kiddos looking to me for A LOT.
This morning (like most every morning I can think of) I was awakened with, “Mom, I’m hungry. Can you get me some breakfast?”
With all that giving, you have to find a way to replenish yourself or pretty soon the well runs dry.
Use some or all of these tips to love yourself and squeeze in a little self-care where you can.
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Take a short brain break.
As a parent, you have no time. You barely have enough time to read this entire article.
Brain breaks are amazing. They can last from 60 seconds to a few minutes.
I use a brain break various times throughout the day to zone out and recharge.
When I’m sitting in the car pick-up line, I use a couple of minutes to relax and breathe. I put down my phone and look out the window to take in the weather.
At home, I sit on the couch and look into the backyard watching the blue jays and cardinals fly around.
It’s an opportunity to close your eyes and breathe or focus on something simple. When you do, it breaks the cycle of whatever activity has been taking place so you can find a moment of quick pause to keep you going.
Utilize your driving time to listen to a podcast.
This is my favorite thing to do these days.
I have a few different podcasts that I like to listen to. Some are around parenting. Others are focused on personal development, and some are just for fun.
Podcasts are more fun than the radio. You can feel like a special guest in a conversation with no pressure to speak. It often sparks more thinking in you.
Jumping in the car on the same routes can be more enjoyable. You can give yourself this small joy of listening to topics you care about.
Open up to another parent you know.
Having another parent that’s close to you, outside the house, gives you someone else to confide in.
Being able to express what’s happening gives you another point of view that perhaps you didn’t think about.
I made the mistake for years of trying to conceal when things weren’t going right. It wasn’t good for me, and it did nothing to build relationships with others.
Often when you can reveal your struggles, that’s where true connection and friendship start.
Loving yourself means voicing when you need some help and a listening ear when you are struggling.
Practice self-compassion.
This is admittedly an area I need to get better in.
The more I read up on healthy habits and practicing mental health, I’m convinced that I’ve spent a lot of years being overly critical of myself.
Instead of focusing on the good things that have gone right, you can get stuck on focusing on the stuff you didn’t do well.
By practicing self-compassion, it permits you to be thoughtful and kind reflecting on your character.
We teach kids to be kind to themselves, and what we are doing is forgetting about ourselves in the equation as well.
Parenting is the toughest occupation. There’s something to deal with from kids fighting in the back seat to forgetting the permission slip to send back to school every day.
Being kind to yourself is needed especially (or maybe even more so) when you’re a parent. It’s a simple act you can control and enforce for yourself.
Find a personal outlet.
It’s good to find something you can claim as yours.
It can be running, painting, sculpting, writing, cycling, or rowing. Yes, I knew a woman who joined a rowing team one season. I thought it was so cool.
Everyone needs a personal outlet where they can express themselves.
Mine is writing. Those magical times for me are at night (right now) when the kids are asleep, and I have my laptop in bed.
Reading and writing are my opportunities to escape and dream.
Every parent needs to find their slice of joy and make time for it.
It keeps you creative. It keeps you sane. It keeps you happy.
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Parenting is this incredible collision of experiencing a new kind of love with your children but also struggling to maintain personal care for yourself.
You get lost in the shuffle. And different seasons will mean different things when it comes to having time for yourself.
But if you can find even 5 minutes to replenish the individual part of you that is also a parent, you will have no regrets.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Zoe Schaeffer on Unsplash