If someone had told me a year ago, that I could love more than one person, in a romantic and sexual way, I would not have believed them. I knew about polyamory, but I didn’t believe it was for me.
Things changed, though. My husband passed away and I suddenly found myself open to all sorts of possibilities. I knew that the idea of getting married again was not something that I saw in my future; however, I wanted love like that again. I believed then (as I do more than ever now) that you can have more than one great love in your life.
Can you have more than one great love at a time, though?
I wasn’t expecting to love anyone the way that I loved my husband. Love is always a little different though, isn’t it? I don’t think you ever love two people the exact same way. You love them for different reasons. You experience your love for them in different ways. So, in a way I was right.
When I met JY though, it wasn’t supposed to be anything serious. It was supposed to be a fun experience. It was supposed to be casual. The more time I spent with him though, the more I realized that I wanted him to be in my life for a long time. As time passed, I came to see him as more than just a casual friend that I was intimate with. I started considering him to be a partner.
We agreed that we would be long-distance partners for the foreseeable future. There would be no plans to move closer. We would travel and see each other as our lives permitted. That has been a wonderful arrangement for us. It has not changed the way I feel about him though.
I felt blessed to have him in my life.
Then JB came into my life. It was quite by accident. Again, it wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a casual relationship. After our first meeting, though, we started chatting more often. Then we started chatting every day. Now, we are talking on Messenger twice a day. Sometimes more. He’s become very involved in my life, helping me meet goals and working out plans. He’s shared things about his life that he says he can’t talk about with anyone else. He’s revealed that our conversations have been deeper and more meaningful than conversations with others in his life.
Our bond has grown from getting to know each other emotionally. Feeling are definitely starting to develop. For both of us.
If you’d told me a year ago that I might love two men at the same time, I would not have believed you. Now, I believe that it’s not only possible, but that it is the most beautiful thing in the world. I would have said it wasn’t natural before. Now, I can’t imagine not having the ability to love more than one.
Not only can I love two people at once, but they can both have feelings towards me, know about each other, and not be jealous. They can both be happy for me that I have more love in my life and I can be happy for them if they find other people to connect with.
Loving more may not be for everyone, but you don’t know what you are capable of or what makes you happiest if you don’t open your mind and consider possibilities. It may not be for you. You can only know if you give it consideration though.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Pixabay