I interviewed extroverts and introverts this week. It is so refreshing to learn that I’m not the only one whose spouse thinks his wife is over the top, little silly, loud, outspoken and life of the party! Personally, I think that’s the reason he fell in love.
My personality is bigger than I am. I’ve always been quite proud of my full of life, bold free-spirited self. I’ve never been afraid to approach someone to ask a question. I’m always prepared with an answered if asked a question. I enter a room ready to mingle. I thrive from gatherings and interactions. Unfortunately, all of these characteristics simply drain the hubs. Much like the couples with extroverted spouses, crowds and noise overwhelm him. The thought of even going to a party or starting a conversation is a nightmare. He’d rather read a book than to head out on the town. He likes whiskey and scotch and relaxing on the deck. I like singing in the kitchen with while sipping on Skinnygirl Sangria!
We’ve survived 20 years of the extroverted, introverted madness. So it’s possible to make it work!
Decide if you are interested in being in a relationship with someone who is much like you or totally opposite and why. I’ve talked to couples that are content with being with their “double.” They feel it’s easier because they think so much alike. Other’s feel that being with someone totally opposite can be challenging yet interesting.
If you are introverted, enjoy a much more serene, calming atmosphere make that clear. Most mistake this personality trait to be antisocial.
If you are extroverted, remember that just because someone isn’t like you, they aren’t required to change. I use to identify it as being boring, fun sucker, buzz killer, which is very untrue. Introverted people are just as creative; they just think differently, and that is totally okay.
Introverts require less stimulation from the world to be awake and alert than extroverts do. This means introverts are more easily over-stimulated. (Psychologist, Hans Eysenck)
Finding a balance between the personalities is the key to building successful healthy relationships. I’ve gotten the hubs to try new things, such as dancing. He hated to dance. He could never get out of his head and worried too much about what others thought. I’ve helped him to loosen up and not opt for results and think so much. Instead, just have a good time and let the music take over. He’s teaching me to figure out that dang Rubik’s cube. The thought of me completing that annoying little square was once overwhelming. The turning, twisting, and matching drove me insane. Not to mention he can solve it in under two minutes. When I see that many colors together, I’d much rather pull out my paint, paintbrushes, and canvas and create a piece to hang over the fireplace. I’m learning to chill out, take a breather and slow down.
Although we process things differently, we have the same goals, to enjoy life and be accepted for who we are. Our uniqueness, similarities, and differences bring us together. So choose what you like, and embrace what you’ve chosen!