Leroy Scott Asks Dads “If You Love Your Kids, Do They Know? “
A father is like a stream of water to the roots of a tree planted at the banks of a river. The love of a real father is irreplaceable and children want nothing more than to be loved by their father. They are commonly wrapped in the loving and nurturing arms of their mother, but they long for the “hard hug” of a father. The hug that defines them, validates their bloodline and gives credibility that says, “you are ‘a person’, you are ‘from me’ and you are made for this life”.
So fathers, do you love your children? And how do they know you love them? Are you a token dad that only uses your children to manage your relationship with their mother or do you neglect them and let them fin for themselves – going throughout life feeling fatherless? If you really loved your children you would:
1. Take Care of Them
I remember going around spraying all the trees in my yard because I knew that when my daughter was outside playing she wouldn’t be attentive enough to check for wasp and bees. So I sprayed them every other day. She’s 15 years old and has never been by a wasp. A real father takes care of his children by protecting them and letting them know that life is safe because he makes it that way. Irresponsible father’s don’t protect and want to chastise and discipline when things happen. You have to provide psychological and emotional support to your children, not just buy them shoes for the new school year. You have to put “life shoes” on them by living a life that models endurance, hard work and determination. You have to speak well about their mother and love her even if you’re no longer with her. Because you understand that they came from her – respect that.
2. Spend Time With Them
Several times, after being totally exhausted from a hard days work, I remember my son throwing my socks to me so that I could play basketball with him. I put them on and played and I played hard. Lost, but played hard! You have to take advantage of moments with your children realizing that one day they may not want to play with you anymore. Time with your child will bleed your heart in a way that nothing else can. Time is a gift and every moment you spend talking, listening and engaging, you unwrap that gift for them. Your child feels like an executive when you put them on your busy schedule. There is nothing like time. Spend some and I promise it will change you.
3. Blaze A Trail For Them
Set their life up in a way that they don’t have to start from scratch. I’ve heard rich people say their giving all their money away and not leaving any for their children. Some men can’t afford to say that because they are at a disadvantage – their father never left them anything. Leave some money for your children. Plan for their future, get a life insurance policy, save for their graduation, make sure they have health care and are not dependent on government care. Let them see you involved in something bigger than yourself.
Your children are super special man and you have to let them know that. You may not be everything you want to be as a father and maybe you didn’t even have your father in your life, but that doesn’t mean you cant do it. I challenge you to try. I know things get tough and I know you get the short end of the stick most of time, but who cares. Nobody knows your heart, but you. Nobody knows how much your children mean to you, but you. All other people can do is guess, but you know the truth. So forget what everybody else thinks and realize that those children are yours and nothing will ever be able to change that. They love you more than you can imagine. God put a special kind of love in them for you and even if you’re not with them you can still be the father they never thought they would ever have.
A man that loves his children loves his self and you have to opportunity to reach out to your children in a way that lets them know that they were not just born into this world, but they you share this world with them. You work to create space for them in this life. You blaze the trail that they walk through. You are their father and no one can stop you from being that.
Originally appeared: on BlackLifeCoaches.net
Photo: Ronnie Meijer/ Flickr