Alot of guys are terrible when it comes to laying down game and they’re oblivious to how bad they look. They have no idea what we’re thinking when we give them that blank stare as we’re walking away.
Until you step up your game you’re going to keep spinning your wheels.
I’ll be honest, guys. If you’re looking for a one way ticket to get in our pants instead of taking the time to get to know us as a person, you’re doing it wrong.
Let’s look at the real reasons why your game sucks.
You bring on the sexual innuendos
We see you coming a mile away. (Hey-O!) We haven’t even considered you as a friend yet, much less a lover. You leer, looking us up and down while licking your lips, then ask our chest when the last time we had sex was.
“How does your living situation affect your sex life?”
“Are your boobs real?”
“Get up and turn around for me.”
This isn’t really innuendo, is it? It’s pretty blatant.
Since you already brought it up we’re going to assume that’s all you want. Do yourself a favor and don’t bother. You’re not showing us anything new.
You’re lazy and not putting in the effort
You don’t bother to call or plan dates, and you rely on vague text messages and Facebook pokes to convey your “interest.”
You’re used to hags hounding you with calls and texts, inviting themselves over and showing themselves out. They do all the work for you and you’ve become very comfortable and accustomed to laying on your ass.
For quality women, that strategy doesn’t work. When you put in minimal effort, you’re telling us we aren’t worth your time. We have better things to do and better men to consider.
News Flash: saying, “We should hang out sometime” isn’t asking us on a date. Asking us, “What are you up to this weekend?” and then never suggesting anything, isn’t asking us on a date.
That’s not taking the lead. That feels like you want ME to plan something, pick you up, and pay. And Homey don’t play cuz I’m out with the man who said, “Want to meet me at Ventiki on Friday at 8pm?”
Get it together guys.
You’re not engaging her in a meaningful way
You’re out on a second date which means you wanted to see her again. But then you drone on about yourself, your car(s), your hundreds of very important friends, your stock portfolio… and never once ask us about ourselves. You don’t even feign interest.
Relationships and conversations are a two-way street. We don’t want to have to remind you we’re sitting right next to you. We want you to notice and pay attention.
I get it, you want to impress us with who you are. But something that impresses us is your interest in us and who we might be as a person and not just arm candy or a warm body/rebound/space filler for the night.
So ditch the “me, me, me” crap. Otherwise, you’ll be sitting there alone.
You’re coming on too strong
You’re texting and calling too much, rushing things, and being impatient. You’re pressuring us to make a snap decision about you and “our future” when we’ve only just met you.
You could be an ax murderer or have $250,000 in back taxes, for all we know. Yet you insist on forging ahead, demanding commitment.
We need to know you first.
And we aren’t buying what you’re selling. We’ve seen it all before. You come blazing in, turn fickle, and then fizzle out. We hardly know what hit us.
Try a moderate pace and stick to it. There’s always time if you make it.
And really, how many women do you feel you’ve had do this same thing to you, guys? So, c’mon now. Slow your roll.
You’re not over your ex and it shows
You talk about the trip you took with her to Cancun, what a great horse trainer she was, and how you regret fucking things up. There’s no subliminal message to uncover here.
We know you’re not over her because you said so yourself.
If you’re still die-hard fanatical about an ex, you shouldn’t be dating. When you’re out with us and you’re talking about her, you sound desperate, clingy, and afraid to be alone. Plus, it’s obvious you’re not into us. Not a good view from where we’re standing.
Resolve your issues first and reemerge a changed man. Then we’ll gladly take you up on your offer. No one wants to deal with ex baggage.
Men and women can be equally bad in their attempts to woo each other. It’s a dance where one takes the lead and the other follows. It’s about being able to inspire each other to stay on this shared path together when it counts.
If you’re trying too hard or barely trying at all, you’re setting yourself up to get shot down left and right.
Take it slow, be honest with us, and most of all, be honest with yourself.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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