Most people give up the idea of ever finding true love due to the fear of having their heart broken, which is the very thing that will prevent them from finding love in the first place.
There are more relationship shows on TV than ever before helping people find a “match,” yet these relationships hardly ever last, and they are back to square one, feeling hopeless, wondering what’s wrong with them, and why they can’t get it right? Often when you ask someone who their ideal partner is, they mostly mention physical traits—which are of course very important indeed—but what’s even more important is to become more specific than that. We could be physically attracted to someone, but if this person is missing most of the elements that make up a successful relationship, it is never going to last past the first euphoric stage when you are almost blindly in love in the beginning.
Becoming very specific about what’s important to you in a partner is vital for a long-lasting and successful relationship. Most people are too scared to ask the big questions such as discussing values, beliefs, future plans and goals, money, spirituality, career, children or not, sex etc when first getting to know a new potential partner due to the fear of pushing this person away. In avoiding these questions, they are setting themselves up for failure right from the start.
They say what you focus on is what you get—good or bad—so make sure you focus on what it is that you really want and desire in a partner and relationship and believe it is really possible to have it all rather than settling for less.
They say we marry our unconscious mind, which means we marry someone who will trigger the unresolved problems within us we haven’t yet dealt with so we can work on them. This also means that until we solve the problems within us—or at least start to look within and take responsibility for how we turn up and contribute in a relationship—we will always believe the solution to love is “out there,” and we just can’t find the right one.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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