The editors of the Marriage section want to hear from you about married sex.
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The business of being married can be highly technical at times — a time-intensive system in which couples establish behaviors and communication strategies to balance checkbooks, work schedules, kids (sometimes), in-laws, household chores, roles, personalities, and individual goals. A lot of the ink dedicated to marriage is about these types of issues.
And rightfully so! When two people put their lives together to create a new family, those things are all important. Relationships thrive or end over them every day.
But as important as all of those things are to a successful marriage, sex is every bit as important. No one gets excited about the thought of spending their honeymoon discussing what percent of the monthly household budget should be spent on rent.
The stereotype may be that marriage is where an active sex life goes to die, cold and alone, across an ocean of blankets and flannel pajamas, on the other side of the bed. Fortunately for married folk, the reality is often quite different. In fact, studies show that sex most often falls squarely into the domain of marriage and committed relationships.
If you’re married, or if you’re in a permanent, committed relationship, you probably already know that sex doesn’t stop being important once you start to share a bed every night. That’s why, in the interests of fostering a discussion about all the things that matter to men and marriages, the Good Men Project’s marriage editors are looking to spend some time this Spring hosting a discussion about married sex. After all, Spring is that magical time of year when men’s hearts turn to love.
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So, to break it all down, here’s what we’re going to be doing:
- We’re compiling your answers to the question, “What is the best thing about married sex?” to include in an article that’ll celebrate all the best things that you think married sex, or sex in a long-term, committed relationship, has to offer.
- We’ll be publishing a number of other articles about sex and marriage in the coming weeks from a variety of contributors.
- We’re going to host a #GMPChat about sex and marriage.
Here’s what we need from you:
- Tell us what you think the best thing about married sex is. What makes it special? Email your responses to the editorial team (just put “married sex” in the subject line) or put your thoughts here in the comments. You can send a sentence, a paragraph, a poem, or whatever else you can think of. (FYI, any responses sent via email will be kept anonymous.)
- Do you have some expertise on the general topic of marriage and sex? Submit an article! Just email it to any of the marriage editors.
- Be on the lookout for updates about the #GMPChat!
If you want to submit an article or contact us to let us know what you think the best thing about married sex is, here’s how:
Ben Martin: [email protected]
Heather Gray: [email protected]
Steven Lake: steven.lake
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Image: apdk/Flickr
Amy, sorry to hear about what you’ve endured. In may case, and I’m sure many of you are tired of hearing my story but … My wife and I don’t have sex, we make love and we give our all to the other when we do make love. Personally, I think people place to much importance of the “act” of sexual intercourse and equating that “act” as an important function. There is no question that having intercourse is goooood , but there is a heck of a lot more then “wham bam thank you ma’am.” Yeah, I think there is… Read more »
I certainly wish I could find some special about sex ! I’ve been married 46+ years and my marriage is and never was special. I thought it would be but it never happened. We only had sex once in all these years, I’ve been treated as a renter in our house. Husband hates sex so bad that he throws up, he thinks it’s just a slimmy, smelly, messy waste of time, and never understood why people saw with sex. He hated so bad that he moved to our basement and decided to work the midnight shift also to be away… Read more »
These are all pretty funny, but take a look at #7. http://distractify.com/fun/hes-heard-some-crazy-answers-on-family-feud-but-these-ones-will-have-you-laughing-til-you-cry/ As far as data goes, asking a 100 people isn’t really a whole lot. And that four other people pulled the answers out doesn’t prove anything. But, for all the cheerleading about married sex, I think it glosses over a lot of pain. Knowing the answers are cliche and stereotypical doesn’t make them hurt any less if they apply to one’s own life. Knowing that some women would give the same answers doesn’t change much either. “What makes married sex so special?” I hope your articles reflect more… Read more »
Hi Survey says, I’m sorry to hear that your relationship isn’t what you’d hoped it would be. I assure you that our intention is never to gloss over the pain you described. We work really hard to address the pains that visit every long-term, committed relationship, whether they occur occasionally or as a way of life. To accomplish this, we publish articles that acknowledge the difficulties that committed relationships often face. More importantly, we publish articles that outline skills for addressing those difficulties. Sometimes, those recommendations and strategies are easier said than done. I know, I struggle with many of… Read more »
“What is the best thing about married sex?”
1) Does such a thing really exist?
2) It’s good when you can get it.
That’s why I am not married anymore.
Good points Jules! I don’t think the “conversation no one else is having” is that married people like sex, or that sex is important, or that marriage needs to be propped back up on it’s pedestal. Is this the war on xmas again?
Well, there’s the dEcreased
likelihood of STDs. Plus you learn to use your imagination when the sight of you and your spouse naked is no longer a turn on.
sent an email 🙂
Awesome. You ROCK! I am passing this far and wide.
Just remember Ben…you asked for it! *grins*