“The End of Men” is headline writing for shock value. Cameron Conaway will show you why.
This piece is part of a special series on the End of Gender. This series includes bloggers from Role/Reboot, Good Men Project, The Huffington Post, Salon, HyperVocal, Ms. Magazine, YourTango, Psycholog
Dear Slate,
I know times are tough and intellectual readership is down. But it’s not fair to jerk around the readers still left, nor is it healthy for society to be repeatedly exposed to stereotypical media-spun shock value to fulfill your own needs. Believe it or not, writing still plays an important role in shaping societal norms and values. To take this power and abuse it on your influential platform has made me lose respect for you. Believe it or not, the way debates are shaped matter in terms of the debate’s outcome. If you were truly looking to have a discussion about the changing roles of men and women in society, you would address it as such. If you are looking to pin our backs against the wall to spark a heated debate that will draw plenty of viewers (because viewers = $) but ultimately leads nowhere, you would present it as you’ve done. Believe it or not, language matters. What happens when a woman who says she’s been raped lives in a culture where the word “rape” is a commonly used term for how one football team beats another? I don’t know precisely, but something does. Something that is not good. Something your Men are Finished publicity stunt is only adding to. Men and women both deserve to be given credit for who they are and what they’ve become. When you say, “Men are Finished” I think you mean “Men are Finished… fitting the stereotypes they are cast into.” But that’s not sexy. And lowbrow sexy sells. Good work, Slate. I’ll be excited to tune in and see if your panel consists of characters in scantily clad vampire getup. That would sell too, you know.
♦◊♦
(1) Men are muscle and muscle means dominance. This is embedded in everyday language, interactions, film, etc. and is a key difference that will always remain between men and women. It’s more than opening a jar or reaching the plates on the top shelf or being physically strong. Six-pack abs. Shredded. Cut. If you think men are playing fantasy football while women are astronauts, maybe you should step into a typical gym and come up with a more accurate stereotype: Men lift weights, train anaerobically, and grunt and strain while the women cardio bunnies gently sway on their elliptical and flip through Cosmo to find out how to please their man in the bedroom. ::A woman’s voice enters:: Well what about Jillian Michaels? Yes, Jillian Michaels is one of the hottest fitness personalities, but it’s in large part because she fits the beauty/brawn sex mold that always sells—that MEN love and MEN propagate. She is an intense and fit woman who can yell to inspire. Her technique, on the other hand… Jillian’s great, but there are thousands of men throughout the world just like her, better even. She is where she is not because her techniques are great or because her teachings are fundamentally sound. She is where she is because she’s personable, fit, sexy and the finale: manly. That sells. Not only are men physically dominant, but we’re also embracing our emotional capacity. See 3. Uh-oh. Does this mean Women are Finished? Only if you’re a Slate headline writer.
(2) Biology is drive, too. We no longer have to stalk animals through forests and stab them with crude weapons just to survive. Most of us have jobs where we sit most of the day in temperature-controlled environments. Does this favor the less physical gender? Yes it does. Does it shut off the intense drive males have to survive and work to protect their families? No. Not only has this fueled men to the top of business and innovation, but it’s also allowed men to develop their emotional intelligence and empathy. Of course, physicality is seen as manly; fighting is manly. And so is this worldwide phenomenon thing called sport. But where is women’s football? Where is women’s MMA? Where is women’s basketball? Only on the radar of a few. And even when a female sport captures the world’s attention, it’s often because the athletes are sexualized. And if not, they will be in order to maintain the public spotlight. Biology changes s-l-o-w-l-y.
(3) Emotion & Mind. The entire argument you’re making is based on women succeeding in the post-industrial age where information and innovation thrive. From this it can be assumed, again, that this means women thrive where there is less physicality. ::A woman’s voice enters:: I bet a woman is Poet Laureate then, since poetry is sharp emotional and mental insight. No, it’s Philip Levine. Well, before that. No, it was W.S. Merwin. Throughout history, men have been fueled by competition, and we still are. But it is because of our openness and willingness to change that (insert politically incorrect caution) men have allowed women into the positions of power you brag about. Are men finished? No. Are we changing? Yes. Just as women are embracing what we deem as more “masculine” qualities, men are embracing more “feminine” qualities. This does not and will not ever mean there will be an end to gender or an end to the essential benefits of both men and women using our collective strengths. P.S. Regarding Innovation: Facebook, Google, Twitter, Apple and LinkedIn. Man, man, man, man, and man.
(4) War, presidency, and power. Sure, brave women fight in wars. Sure, we may have a female president in future years. But our culture sees war and presidency as something for men. Whether it’s the familiar continuation of historical roots or something else. Men are more accustomed to—and perhaps because of this—still better equipped for positions of absolute power.
—Photo Urban Aquarium Video and Light/Flickr
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Rumours of the end of men have been greatly exaggerated.
Brilliant comment transhuman. Spot on.
Cameron, I liked your intro but in everything that followed the only point I could get fully behind was number (3). The others were often speculative and at their worst, misguided (“absolute power”? since when is that something anyone is suited for?) I mostly hope that what readers will take away from this the end of your first part: “When you say, “Men are Finished” I think you mean “Men are Finished… fitting the stereotypes they are cast into.” But that’s not sexy. And lowbrow sexy sells. Good work, Slate. I’ll be excited to tune in and see if your… Read more »
Cameron, you say you will continue to fight for women’s rights and equality but your article hints otherwise.
You sounded so defensive.
” P.S. Regarding Innovation: Facebook, Google, Twitter, Apple and LinkedIn. Man, man, man, man, and man.”
Cameron, what are you doing to encourage tomorrow’s innovations to be WOMAN, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman? What are you doing to encourage women to THINK BIG? And what are you doing to encourage men to be their support systems (yes, their househusbands who make all the sacrifices)?
Katha, what are you doing to encourage tomorrow’s innovations to be WOMAN, MAN, woman, man, woman, man, woman, man… etc.? What are you doing to encourage young men and women to think, “the world can be a place where everyone can thrive if we all work together, where everyone deserves attention to their sex-specific health needs (breast & prostate cancer, not just breast cancer) and not only are women worthy of respect, but so are men (rather than being simply bald, impotent, disposable workers)?” And what are you doing to encourage women and men alike to see the culture they… Read more »
“If women have a problem it is most likely due to men, and needs fixing. If men have a problem it is most likely due to men, and can be ignored.” Actually, many of the problems of both women and men are due to the systems we’re living in – brass knuckles, turbo-charged capitalism and a modernized patriarchy. Working and middle class men have been adversely affected by corporatism. Since our modern patriarchy still expects men to be the providers, the economic recession is having a deep impact on their psyches. In the 1930’s, lots of men committed suicide because… Read more »
And feminism is NOT for everybody. If it were for everybody, it wouldn’t have a name that is sex-specific.
I think Cameron is clinging to horrible stereotypes of manliness here. We don’t need this, there is no reason for it! 1) I’m not very muscular at all, in fact I’m pretty sure many girls could overpower me. Yet in the face of this I don’t feel any less sure of the fact that I am a man – I’m just not strong. 2) I’m driven to aspire to the top of my field – but I’m pretty sure that’s from all the encouragement I got from my family and schooling over the years. I do’t think I’d be where… Read more »
Do you think any of this (1 – 4) would exempt you from conscription were the need to arise? I doubt it.
Also if you were overpowered by a girl would you be the recipient of sympathy or ridicule? Would anyone help you out or would you be expected to fend for yourself?
Just asking is all.
Kathy and MB, I have and will continue to fight for women’s rights and equality. I study it on a nearly daily basis. I even taught writing in an all-female juvenile detention center because women receive so little of the prison funding cut and this means they end up right back in the hole once they are released. Before you make huge judgments about me as a person, talk to me as a person. It’s one thing to critique an article, it’s wholly another to say that the writer behind an awfully short article – someone whose mission it’s been… Read more »
Carmeron, I was offended by your defensive response. Cameron, if you really are a fan of the feminist movement, then read your article again and see how it privileges men above women. You could have at least said, “Show me how I could have made this article sound like it is not trying to defend the status quo.” If you believe that women have an equal number of strengths above men, write an article about it. And tell about the physical, intellectual, and leadership strengths that women have. Please don’t write a tired article about women being “intuitive.” You made… Read more »
Marie:
Aren’t feminists mature enough to accept the occasional article about men’s plights?
Or is that too much to expect of feminism?
If it is too much to expect of feminism, then I wonder what kind of movement it really is.
Marie:
Why is it that feminists only seem to make the demand you’re making when it’s men’s issues being discussed? Do you go to feminist blogs and sites and demand equal attention for men’s issues. i’m betting you don’t, and i don’t think you should have to. So why does Cameron have to give equal attention to women’s issues here?
I think you’re kind of missing Rosin’s point. This is partly her fault for not explaining it well as she sort of admits in a sideways manner in her Slate interview. Anyhow, she’s saying that for working class men in America, having physical strength isn’t enough anymore because we don’t have manufacturing jobs. So #1 isn’t relevant in modern America, according to Rosin. It doesn’t matter whether or not men are naturally more competitive, because they aren’t doing as well in school. They aren’t going to college as much and they aren’t graduating. Education is what counts in our modern… Read more »
The author rightly implies that our culture believes that the male is the norm of humanity and the female is a deviant “other.” But I think he also agrees with the culture. And this is where he slaps women down. I think that the author believes that men are superior to women. Look at how he always addresses men first, as in “men and women.” He never says “women and men” and never gives the feminist movement it deserves. I do not think that men are inherently more suited to top leadership positions. Most men have made a mess out… Read more »
I think you were trying to say that Cameron does not give the feminist movement the credit it deserves. I agree with that statement. Cameron’s statement that men are more suited for positions of absolute power was VERY problematic. Cameron, NOBODY has a right to absolute power. Hitler, Mussolini, Pol Pot, Idi Amin, Stalin . . .they all had “absolute power” and they almost ruined the world. That’s one reason why many of us believe in democracy. And that’s one reason why many of us believe in feminism. The Good Men Project may as well admit that it believes in… Read more »
Was it only feminist who over threw Hitler’s, Mussolini’s, Pol Pot’s, Idi Amin’s, & Stalin’s government etc..I think some of those evil Male soldiers helped out too?
Heresy! It is a thoughtcrime to describe soldiers as male if there is a positive connotation. It’s only acceptable if there is a negative resonance such as those old chestnuts “male violence, aggression, dominance, etc…” Inevitably it is described as “people” and “troops” and “young Americans, Australians, English, etc..” and “veterans” who sacraficed life and limb. A friend of mine was showing me photos of first world war graves he visited in France. I lost count of the amount of times he said “people”, a non-descript generic term, rather than “young men” which is what they basically were. But facts… Read more »
Men will soon be finished unless we as a society start caring about the disposability of men. When we use the same metrics to show black disenfranchisement and powerlessness on gender we find that men dominate the bottom of the power pyramid about 9 to 1 on women. Men are 80% of all suicides (suicide is the ultimate expression of powerlessness) Men are 38% of college grads Men are 90% of the homeless Men are 90% of the incarcerated Men are 80% of the victims of violent crime Men live on average 7 years shorter than women men are 95%… Read more »
By the way Alpha Phi Alpha is the oldest nationally recognized black fraternity.
It’s been two years and Obama hasn’t even REPLIED to them about creating an office on boys & men.
Most of men’s health problems are because we’re still in a male-dominated society. There’s lots of evidence that macho is not mucho and that it’s bad for men’s health.
what does that have to do with men being unqualified to receive federal funded aid?
Kathy,
I agree somewhat. But, the point is this:
If women were shown to live 7 years less, the government would step in to correct the problem–EVEN IF IT WERE THE RESULT OF THEIR OWN BEHAVIOR.
But, because it’s men there does not need to be any solution.
I love how feminism works (and I’m not necessarily saying you stated this):
If women have a problem it is most likely due to men, and needs fixing.
If men have a problem it is most likely due to men, and can be ignored.
“Most of men’s health problems are because we’re still in a male-dominated society. There’s lots of evidence that macho is not mucho and that it’s bad for men’s health.” Kathy, I have to disagree. We are in an economically male-dominated society. But the CULTURE is what creates demand for things. Our culture is thus formed by society as a whole, and our culture does not demand men’s health programs. It has always and still prefers to see men as disposable–“women and children first” into the lifeboats. My own mother would expect me to give a kidney before asking my sister… Read more »
… take out “thus” in that fourth sentence. I was moving statements around to force my scattered disagreement into a cohesive structure and it was left standing there, awkwardly pointing at nothing while shrugging.
It’s not “for some crazy reason”. It’s because of biology, because women can give birth and men can’t, which in turn makes males disposible. We’re biologigally predetermined to be the protector class and women the protected, that’s why people generally seem incapable of grasping that men can be victims whatsoever.
While I was writing my piece one of my versions included a leading paragraph which said something to the effect of: “End of gender. This is sure to be a barn burner of a topic for the GMP in terms of angry comments’.
Just goes to show you that the feminist boogie woman is a cash cow.
The non-white, non-Asian male is not finished but their futures are certainly being actively and successfully diminished, much to the silent satisfaction of members of NOW and readers of Ms. Magazine, Feministing, Jezebel, and the like.. Anyone who cares to look at the data related to education and other critical markers that predict future conditions can see that fact.
Victoria,
Right on and thank you! Believe me, my fiancee is a former standout soccer player and bests me in just about everything we try together! There are some unbelievably fit women out there who outwork and can outperform many men. I’m sure you’d smoke me on the bike – that’s why I made sure to call attention to the fact that it was a stereotype. Speaking of biking, I’ll never forget the way my legs were burning while mountain biking…then I fell and when I looked ahead there she was flooring it up the mountain! 🙂
~Cameron
Cameron, I hope your fiance will be the primary, career-oriented provider of the family and that you will make every sacrifice imaginable to help her get to the top and be absolutely brilliant. Most of these men got to the top because their families and WIVES made all the sacrifices for them. It was not just because of some inner drive.
I agree with your argument that the basics of biology make men the ‘stronger’ sex in most instances but let me just assure you that there are women out there who are more than gym bunnies and hit the gym/train to push themselves mentally and physically in the same way that men do. Can they benchpress the same weights, no? But stick me and you on a road bike and I’m pretty confident you wouldn’t be able to catch my draft…just sayin’…
Also totally have your back on your letter to Slate, nicely put!
The basics of biology make men stronger in some ways . . .
And women MUCH stronger in other ways.
The author neglects to mention that it is not the end of “men” (read: male dominance) because the world does not respect women’s strengths.
Much stronger in what other ways exactly? Giving specific examples to support your argument is clearly not a strength in this case or in femenism generally, emotionalised generalisations are the order of the day, like “male dominance”. That is a specific example of a specific example.
What basis is there for claiming the world does not respect womens’ strengths, there’s another unsupported generalisation.
Women have MUCH more freedom to display vulnerability than men, who are held to much more stringent expectations of appearing strong so it’s a contentious comparison.