We are built to rule and when we finally offer our great bounty unto those chosen few, we expect gratitude. How many of us men have felt the pull, the dictate to put a woman in her place for demeaning such a gift as our adoration. Don’t they know what we could do for them? How much we wish to please them, our dedication, perseverance, our love? How is it women so easily, carelessly, toss aside our affections, our purchased gifts, our time with such abandon? This evidence suggests clearly they are, in fact, worthy of our lamenting; “You whore. You bitch. Cunt!” After all, we’re not like other men; we’re special. Right, that is how the socially indoctrinated thinking goes?
Consider this, special guys, one of the reasons we have so much to offer these women is because of how strong we are, how stoic. We are men, we don’t cry, and we don’t get our feelings hurt. No, we can take it, we’re Spartans, gladiators, proud warriors. So if women deserve to be chastised for rejecting our incredible prowess, but we definitely aren’t wimps with touchy feels, then why do we hate being rejected so much? Do you see how the stereotypes play out here? Do you see how the stereotypes make it even worse for those poor guys with anxiety approaching women, where rejection is almost a certainty.
As guys, we all know every rejection is a failure of our masculinity, it’s what the world has taught us since birth. When the needle of rejection has stung our flesh, we turn up the aggression and broil the oppressor. The lesson we were taught was well rooted.
“You’re a fat cow, anyway!”
Why? If women deserve our lecture, aren’t we doing them a service? If our self esteem isn’t injured, then why curse and insult? Why does the world teach us failure is a sign of weak masculinity, if we can handle rejection like men? The stereotypes play out yet again.
Herein lies the cage where men exist; it’s never good enough, we’re never good enough.
Screw that! As men, we’ve focused far too much on winning, being the best, richest, and getting the most women. It’s a numbers game. Yet, how could any of us be worth anything if we focus entirely on quantity instead of quality? Isn’t the difference in integrity, isn’t this exactly why we believe we’re incredible men in the first place? (If only SHE knew).
As adults, we all get to choose who we want to be. If you want to look like Hercules and use the same flat dialogue from an 80’s action movie, then go ahead, tell her off. I’m sure all those other guys laughing really do admire you. I bet they’ll always be loyal. I’m sure they really do love you, bro. And yet, if you want real connection, to be someone of quality deserving of an others time, then see rejection for what it truly is… a quick polite way of not wasting your time.
You keep thinking, “If she only knew me and what I was about!” Yet, that’s the point, she doesn’t know you. It’s got nothing to do with you. It’s not personal, so how could it affect your self worth? A rejection from a stranger is no more an injury to you than Siri misunderstanding your inquiry. They are both entirely indifferent to your existence. Perhaps this is a surprise, considering just how awesome you must be, but don’t forget, its a numbers game. Now, you may immediately conclude this is cause for being rich, famous, or so muscularly toned, ridiculously dressed that she notices you, you become someone. Herein again, she remains indifferent to you, she only likes your flashy new facade. Continue to take this further and you can argue its about effort, will power, or creativity . . . but it’s still not integrity; it’s still not dignity.
In the end, if you honestly wish to display virtue and honor someone, then graciously accept their rejection of you. Few things in life can disarm a person with such fine clarity. Are you genuinely a man of character or do you secretly just want to sleep with this girl? Ask yourself, are you lying about your sincere intention. Perhaps her rejection, her gut feeling appears more justified than you first realized. She’s protecting herself from you, from all of you, because strange men feel entitled to her body every day, and it’s a numbers game, remember.
So, decide who you really are and what you really want.
Blundering through pick up lines and forcing everyone else to figure out your intention is the very definition of male entitlement. If you want sex and nothing more, if you are attracted to her for her physical looks and nothing more, say so. Then respect her choice to make the same decision about you.
Naturally, you may question why you should even care about respecting her, if she is only worth the warm wet hole you stick your dick into, but it’s exactly disrespect which causes the female default toward rejection. You want her to screw you, a stranger, but then sneer as you call her a slut.
Treating women, other men, and all strangers with the grace of rejection is to honor yourself, your feelings, and sets you upon a path to discover those with your same needs. Turn what you’ve learned upside down and rejection becomes the breeze that whips away tension, loosens the knot of anxiety, and understands the stranger in a whole new light.
Rejection occurs for untold reasons and if one truth is paramount above all, in accepting the pleasant rejection, it has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. She may have recently failed a class, ended a relationship, given birth, have diarrhea, you may resemble her ex, she may be racist, about to deploy to Iraq, waiting for friends, her cat just died, she’s nearing completion of her time machine, is very antisocial, or has just been raped.
Of course, she might just be tired, especially of your assumptions. You don’t know anything about her and if you can’t respect that, then you certainly know nothing about yourself. We all dislike being lied too and patronized, yet it’s a direct result of being attacked, so often, for giving heart felt rejections. We fear confrontation and hurting others, but do so by not respecting the courage to reject us. It is a great strength, a mighty edifice, to smile when rejected and be glad for the chance.
Go out into the world, knowledgeable of your intention and desires, and wander through interactions with the virtue of a dancer astride partners of consummate form. For all others, their refusal and repudiations shall adorn the sonorous melody you will play. Smile when rejected, Hercules, for you are mighty indeed!
A version of this post was originally published on BarbarianEffeminate.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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