Monogamy: a Myth or Marketing?

I have a confession.
This topic triggers me. Not in a cute “haha this is so interesting” kind of way — I mean the full-body eye roll kind of triggered.

Especially when someone pulls out the classic argument: “If you had one man on an island with five women vs. one woman with five men, which group would repopulate faster?”

Oh wow, groundbreaking stuff, Kevin.

Because, of course, it’s always framed from his perspective. Never mind how the woman might feel about her new job title as National Uterus of the Republic.

It’s funny how often we drag biology into relationships — but only when it benefits outdated power dynamics.

And lately, I can’t stop wondering:
Are we failing at monogamy… or was it never the point to begin with?

We love the idea of “forever.” Soulmates. One person to kiss every morning until we’re old and slightly crusty. But if we peel off the wedding hashtags and dig into the research, things get… complicated.

Evolutionary psychologists say we’re “serially monogamous” at best. Wired for connection, yes — but not for eternity.

Rats, Sex, and the Coolidge Effect

The Coolidge Effect: a phenomenon where males (of many species, including us) get sexually recharged by novelty. That’s right — even if you’re tired, unmotivated, and over it, someone new walks in and suddenly it’s game on.

It’s not just him.
Women experience desire drop in long-term relationships too — maybe even more dramatically than men.
Monogamy? Sexy. Repetition? Meh.

Let’s be real: the idea of monogamy didn’t come from hearts and flowers. It came from contracts and crops. Property. Inheritance. Control.

It was a system. And we made it romantic.

Fast-forward to 2025: people are still trying to force passion to thrive in conditions that were designed for ownership — not intimacy.

One-Size-Fits-All?

For some people, monogamy is the dream — the slow burn, the safe space, the one person you’d choose over and over again.

Beautiful. Rare. And yes, totally real.

For others? The dream feels more like a trap. They crave the emotional closeness, sure, but start to wilt under the pressure of permanent exclusivity.

Cue sneaky fantasies, quiet resentment, and relationship podcasts at 2AM.

So maybe it’s not about giving up on love.
Maybe it’s about building it differently.

Are We Cheating on the Wrong Idea?

Cheating is everywhere. So is confusion, avoidance, performative monogamy, and the quiet pain of unmet desire.
But maybe we’re not cheating on people — maybe we’re cheating on a structure that doesn’t work for us anymore.

What if monogamy isn’t wrong…
It’s just not the only right?

Monogamy isn’t dead.
But it might need a little rebranding.

And if we let go of the shame, the fear, and the assumption that there’s only one right way to love — maybe we can actually find the kind of relationships that fit who we are today… not who society needed us to be centuries ago.

So no, I’m not here to cancel “forever.”

Just wondering if it should come with an edit button?