Most Introverted Men Struggle With Dating. Here's Help

Most introverted men struggle with dating for a few reasons:

We (yes, I am an introvert) are less “shiny” and tend to stand out less. Extroverts tend to get more attention from women overall.
Though introversion is not the same thing as shyness, it’s a lot more common for introverts to be shy (or just lazy about socializing). We tend to put ourselves out there less.
Most men struggle with dating whether they’re introverted or not. It’s not so easy to meet women these days for a variety of reasons.

A lot of this boils down to less opportunity. Since we don’t stand out as much, we will meet fewer women. Since we don’t go out as much, we will meet fewer women. Since we are men, we just get less opportunity to meet prospective partners overall.

And when we have a lack of opportunities, we tend to attach too much significance to each time we actually do end up talking to a woman. It creates a scarcity mentality. It makes us more nervous and anxious. It makes us more desperate.

And that turns women off.

All of a sudden, we find ourselves more alone than we’d like to be.

We all want love and companionship, but we end up burying ourselves in our comfort zones, making it harder and harder to take that first step out of it.

We get used to staying at home every Saturday night, and the choice to stay home instead of going out becomes easier and easier to make.

And it gets harder and harder to escape loneliness.

As a men’s dating coach who is also an introvert, what I do is specialize in helping other introverted men escape that very loneliness and find love by leveraging the natural strengths they have as introverts.

I amplify the successful introvert habits in clients’ natural behavior that will put meeting and dating women on autopilot.

In other words, it leads you to being your most attractive self just by “being yourself.”

Did you know there are introvert habits that give you an advantage over extroverts when it comes to dating?

For example, I find it easier to turn on a deeper curiosity within myself. I can become deeply curious about a topic and read about it all evening. I teach clients how to turn that same energy of curiosity toward the women they talk to in order to create an unforgettable connection.

Also, our proclivity to talk less allows us to be better at active listening skills, even if we practice them only a little bit. I use active listening to have conversations with women where they’re the ones talking 80% of the time or more, and they love it.

Apply deep curiosity and active listening to approaching and flirting, and you will eventually get to a point where you’re doing it all on autopilot.

The reason I recommend learning such autopilot habits is because it’s the single most effective way to flirt and appear confident as an introvert.

It’s the best way to become authentically desired.

There are plenty of benefits to doing this:

It shows your most attractive self to the most amount of women.
It allows you to finally feel like a “normal person” who experiences hookups and relationships.
It makes the process of doing all that nearly effortless.
It helps you understand women better.
It allows you to let go of anger and bitterness, replaced with love and happiness.
and that’s just the start.

All of these benefits allow you to become desired by women for who you are rather than what you look like, how much money you have, or whatever status you hold.

I outline all the detailed steps on how to achieve this in my book, Never Lonely: The Uncensored Guide on How to Attract and Be Loved by Women. I invite you to check it out if this is an area of your life you need to get handled.

Never Lonely covers all the bases. I also go over extrovert habits in case such tools resonate with you (since no one can be 100% an introvert or 100% an extrovert). For example, here’s an excerpt about one of the most common extroverted conversational techniques:

Let’s say you begin talking about a topic. Let’s call this Topic A. In a normal, logical discussion, you would expect to talk about topic A until you reach the conclusion of that topic. For example, if you were telling a story, you would finish telling that whole story before you and your conversation partner moved onto a different topic.

However, in multi-threading, you will cut Topic A in the middle and begin talking about a new topic, which we will call Topic B, before ever concluding Topic A. For example, if you’re telling a story, stop talking about the story and move onto Topic B without skipping a beat. Or, if you’re answering a question, don’t answer it directly. Or, if you’re talking about your opinions about a certain issue, don’t try to reach any sort of conclusion about what the correct opinion is or whatever. Topic B is the new shiny distraction.

Then, without concluding Topic B, cut it somewhere in the middle and begin talking about Topic C. What do you think is the next step? You guessed it: cut Topic C somewhere in the middle and begin talking about Topic D. And so on and so forth.

Over the course of the conversation, you or she might naturally shift back to a previous topic from time to time. There are an endless amount of possibilities as to how the conversation can go in this framework, and following this structure can lead to a potentially endless conversation.

If you observe women or very extroverted men excitedly talking to each other, this is what their conversations might look like. It’s mentally stimulating and it builds lots of rapport really fast. It serves as good practice to stay in the moment without becoming too attached to anything in the conversation that has passed, and it will be easier for you to pull off this conversational technique the better you become at staying in the moment. If you stay present, it will be easier for you to find new topics of conversation to talk about in order to do some multi-threading. Another great advantage of this conversational structure is that it will make the woman you’re talking to feel like the two of you have so much to talk about, and that conversations with you are so much fun.

Chapter 30: Conversation, Never Lonely: The Uncensored Guide on How to Attract and Be Loved by Women

If you don’t want to use those extroverted kinds of tools, that’s perfectly fine, too.

You can still leverage your natural strengths as an introvert to get the same or better results.

You don’t have to be the loud “alpha male” getting all the attention in the room. You can learn to become fluent in the unspoken language of women to communicate directly with their emotions instead, and they will love you for it.

You don’t have to brag and try to impress others. You can make others feel good by giving them the spotlight instead, and they will love you for it.

You don’t have to try to be someone you’re not. You can become your most authentic self by practicing the habits that resonate with your personal core values of growth instead, and women will love you for it.

Found this guide useful? Subscribe for free to make sure you don’t miss out on any of my future articles.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

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The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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