Moms are agressively confronting men for talking to children. In a world of engaged parenting by fathers, this is doubly destructive.
“DO WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE?!”
That’s what a woman barked into my husband’s face Saturday night, as he was talking to one of the girls attending my daughter’s birthday party at Funplex.
Frank was telling the girl that she should text her mother where she was inside the ‘Plex, as it was getting close to the designated pick-up time. The woman was a friend of the kid’s mom (and the kid, presumably).
She assumed my husband was harassing the girl. Because why else would a grown man speak to a 12 year-old girl?
The girl did not have a distressed look on her face and they stood smack in the middle of a crowd of hundreds of kids and parents.
I mention this context because it’s important. Yes, there are men who prey on young girls and boys. There are also women who prey on young girls and boys. If you are a grown-up or fellow parent, you are paying attention to the other grown-ups around you and to how they are interacting with your kid and other kids, and hopefully, thankfully, you are ready to intercede if necessary. I know I do and am.
But you should also check yourself. If you begin with the presumption that every man is a predator until proven otherwise, you are perpetuating a very harmful bias that hurts men AND children. Because you are not teaching kids how to properly discern between good men and bad. You are saying all men are by default, suspect.
This is not the first time Frank was assumed to be acting in the wrong. Once, when Alice was around 5, he was parked outside Bill & Harry’s trying to convince a cranky, crying kid to get out of the car to pick up our Chinese take-out.
A mom walked over to the car and asked Alice — Alice — if she was okay. Which promptly stopped Alice’s crying. And rightfully infuriated Frank. I told him that had it been me, the woman would have stopped to see if I was okay. Not Alice.
Mark Greene has created a series of memes that speak simply and eloquently to this double standard and others.
Check it out here: https://goodmenproject.com/feat…/7-double-standards-megasahd/
Here are few more of Mark’s memes.