Moving From a Situationship Into a Legit Relationship

From an urban perspective, “situationship” is a kind of relationship that has no label on it and is mostly used to describe friends with benefits. While casual, nondescript situationships definitely have a time and place, it is normal to confess when you are officially done with “chitchatting” or “mingling around” with someone and take that connection to the next level. You know, something with a little more accountability, consistency and that comes with a definition.

Fortunately, despite the noise and disarray you may have already acclimatised to in your situationship, it is not impossible to convert it to an actual relationship. If you regularly convey about where you currently are and where you see yourself in the future, your lives can absolutely begin departing in that direction.

The objective is to bypass the ambiguity that comes with situationship and into something that has a greater level of clarity, which you can accomplish by having open and honest conversations with your potential significant other. For as long as this process is not completed, the situationship will forever remain there.

Understandably, it takes a lot of strength and can be scary to be sincere, but once you make that first step of opening yourself up, you might learn that your partner (or semi-partner) has been secretly wanting this exact conversation. Along the way, you may discover that he or she is willing to give a shot at dating. If they are willing to push it to become the real thing, there are ways to facilitate that.

1. Skip The Text And Mingle In Real Life

Being physically present and close to each other is crucial in reinforcing your connection, which indicates you will want to use your phone less.

Depending on the Covid-19 situation in your area, if it is not permissible to get together outside, then texting is the next best thing to keep in touch. However, one thing to be mindful of is that it can present a false sense of intimacy and attachment if this method is being adopted excessively. It does not take much to succumb to the habit of sending sweet messages, and it feeling as if you are intimately linked when realistically speaking, you could be doing more than you think.

Stop texting back and forth and have a shot at real-life dating. Consistently exchanging messages over the Internet for a period of time is pointless if both of you have only met each other once or twice during that said period. Take the bold step and ask if they would like to meet up. Come up with fun date ideas — such as going out to dinner, grabbing coffee at your local cafe, strolling around the park—and try to observe each other in terms of their facial expressions and body languages consistently.

The greater the amount of time and effort you both commit into the relationship, the closer you will become.

2. Keep Checking In

Just because you had a discussion outlining the rules and definitions of the relationship, it does not mean you have a reasonable ground to assume that everything will change immediately and remain that way forever. You must inform the other person so that he or she knows how you feel about him or her and regularly do check-ins.

Placing your relationship under the limelight will send a clear hint that you are welcoming a deeper connection. You will never find out what you can obtain if you do not put yourself out there to the other person. When the opportunities are there, capitalise on them while remembering to be honest about what you desire.

3. Introduce Each Other To Your Friends

Looking for another method to turn the situationship into a relationship? Bring your friends along into the process. Involving each other in your respective social lives will facilitate the evolutionary process from something ill-defined to something more structured.

If the situationship consists of social interactions that go above the individuals in the situationship, this may be a promising flag because social acknowledgement is a defining aspect of a committed romantic partnership.

Do not be afraid to mix and mingle in the outside world, beyond what you normally do in private. Tag your friends along, explore the community together, and it should start to feel like both of you are a legit couple.

What If Things Go South?

Taking everything mentioned here, it is vital to recognise when you are being strung along by someone who is clearly not ready to define the relationship. Keep your eyes open to any signs that may indicate that they are not ready to date, such as being hesitant to hang out in person, interact with friends or reluctant to talk about the future.

Once you have enough evidence to reasonably believe that a relationship is yet to be called for, never force it towards your favour. It is better to accept it, let go and move on. View the experience as a sign that you deserve someone much better and a much more fulfilling life.

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Previously Published on medium

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Photo credit: by Milan Popovic on Unsplash