My 100+ Brothers

I have over 100 brothers. One hundred. And no, that is not a typo.

I am a member of The National At-Home Dad Network, and this past September was our 29^th annual convention, titled HomeDadCon, emanating from San Antonio, TX. We are a non-profit organization, dedicated to building community among a group that generally experiences great loneliness, and education about modern fathering techniques in a world that largely considers fathers to be second-class parents. Our convention offers educational content regarding parenting through keynote speakers and breakout sessions, with topics ranging from “Maximizing Your Time: AI Strategies for Stay-At-Home Father” to “How to Make Super Dad Friends”, and even larger scope topics such as “Adjusting Your Relationship with Substance Abuse Through Harm Reduction” and “Brave Men Talk: In Partnership with Movember”. We also offer community through our pre-Convention activities including touring breweries or distilleries, excursions such as a trip tubing down the Comal River, and our nightly Game Room where Dads can bring board games to share with others (as seen in Fig. 1).

Fig. 1. Dane Sammis, Game Room, 2025, San Antonio, Texas

This is my fourth time attending HomeDadCon, and every year I learn something new, take away something life-changing, and reaffirm my bonds with the 100 other Dads who attend. I meet new Dads, see old friends, laugh with some at silly Dad Jokes (and introduce our newest activity, a Dad Joke tournament to take place next year in Chicago), and cry with others during a session about the toll suicide takes on surviving family members.

It’s always interesting to me when I meet someone who is a new attendee at the convention. This year we had over 20 new fathers join, with children ranging from one who was crawling around the hotel lobby all the way to high school kids, ready to make the Dad an empty nester. They bring a perspective to the convention that we may have never seen. They bring an energy that we may be missing. They bring questions that we haven’t thought of. This year was no exception.

One of the breakout sessions I attended was “Dad Braids: An Intro to Braiding, Bonding, and Showing Up.” I am bald. I have no experience braiding hair, unless you count twisting my beard into little lines. But I have a daughter who wants to sit in front of me at the table and have me brush her hair. Now, thanks to HomeDadCon, I know how to do a traditional 3-strand braid, as well as a Fish Tail braid (As seen in Fig. 2)!

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Fig. 2. Jeremy Haston, Fish Tail in Blue, 2025, San Antionio, TX

As I sat there during that session, I was next to a Dad I had never met. And he was struggling, to say the least. He couldn’t get the finger motion to part the practice hair into 3 strands, and even after he did, his practice braid had trails sticking out everywhere. However, he was determined to get it right and asked for my help when he saw mine had come out, I must say, well… pretty. It looked like something out of K-Pop Demon Hunters, which will make my 9-year-old daughter giddy. So, we sat there with me showing him how to reach behind the hair with two fingers, splitting the hair into three sections, and then taking the left one aside with your left hand, and turning your right hand over to make your first overlay. He was learning how to do it, and I was learning how to teach it at the same time.

I think that that was one of my biggest moments of learning. I was able to teach someone else, who was clearly frustrated, how to do something that I had just learned myself. What else can I teach, and to who? Perhaps my daughter? Can I learn how to prepare a meal I’ve never made before, and show her at the same time? Can I build a new creation out of LEGO, and then take it all apart and show her how to do it? Can I talk about my mental health, and then teach her to do the same?

I was asked this question this weekend. “If you could boil down being a better father to one thing, what would it be?” And the answer is simple, and yet incredibly complex at the same time. Be a better person, each and every day. It’s why I have returned to school, at 43 years old. It’s why I’ve been working on my health, and have recently lost 150 pounds. It’s why I go to therapy and couples counseling with my wife. It’s why I found The National At-Home Dad Network (athomedad.org). I want to be a better father, a better husband, and a better person. Learning new things, new skills, and new ideas is part of being a better person. And learning how to teach them makes me a better father. And, after all, that’s the goal. It’s why we go to convention.

Well, that and playing board games and trying to win the Dad Joke Championship (As seen in Fig. 3).

Fig. 3. Jeremy Haston, My Brother Arvis, 2025, San Antonio, TX