These two are inseparable. Last night, as I walked by her bedroom, I noticed them sleeping in her bed…together. They are 16 and best friends.
Yes, I knew he was sleeping over. I’m still a little uneasy about it. But we all love him and I trust both of them. My 18-year-old loves him to death. His grandparents (who he stays with quite often) live just a few blocks away and she convinced him to stay over.
I smiled and went back to bed when I saw them. He was on one side of the bed. And she was on the other. They had moved upstairs after crashing on the couch during a movie, I heard later.
I never imagined myself being “that” mom. I never imagined my daughter’s best friend would be a gay boy. But, why not? When I was in music school, a lot of my friends were boys who identified as gay or bi-sexual. They were wonderful friends. They were likely the only boys I hung out with who didn’t want anything other than my friendship and time.
But these two…they have been besties for so many years, I cannot remember when it all started. They are only 16, yes. But, they started dancing together as children and just hit it off.
My daughter was in the ballet in a neighboring city. When I went back to school, I had to pull her out and bring her to a local studio to dance. It was hard on all of us. But I had no choice.
My going back to school changed so many things about our lives and I fought every change like it mattered “the most”. Her dance studio was amazing up there.
But here, she thrived. Together with this sweet boy, they could do so much more than she could alone, up there. The tap duets, the modern and jazz pieces they can do, are just wonderful.
As a mother, I am always concerned about what is best…how do we even know? I’ll tell you. We can’t. We just hope and pray and pray and hope for the best.
And this…this perhaps unorthodox best-friendship, is the best.
She is absolutely herself with him. He feels completely safe and accepted and loved by us. It is the best of all of the worlds combined.
Just over a year ago, they tried on being a “couple”. They were a sweet pair, although I knew something was a little off. But, she had to learn on her own. He did know at that point that he was gay…or was not quite ready to admit it to himself.
However, when he broke it off with her, after a few weeks, they were friends again. And they have been going strong since. That moment in time made them even closer. And it helped him define himself.
Their names for each other in their phones are “Sexy Ex” and “Hot Chocolate”. That totally cracks me up.
He comes over for dinner and stays to rehearse dance routines or watch a show. They glide around the floor with their socks on and sing Lizzo. Sometimes they take it outside to the backyard. Or they walk to get slushies or just go to the park. It’s innocent and what a relief that is.
Just yesterday, he came over after school and she was in the shower. He sat outside the door, recording her “shower” singing on his phone. I about died laughing. It was precious.
They “Snap” about everything. If I were not an adult, I might be jealous of her and the relationship she has with him. To have such a good friend who is attentive, playful, and loyal is a treasure.
I have more growing to do and my children are making sure I get what I need in that department, bless their hearts.
Today, I am grateful for their beautiful friends, their journeys with them, and what they have learned along the way so far.
It’s been good for all of us.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Kevin Gent on Unsplash