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There are times in our lives when we’re motivated to accomplish a specific goal. Maybe you want to start a new business. Perhaps you want to get into shape. Then there are times when you lack motivation. There are moments where you don’t have the drive to do something it can be frustrating. But even more frustrating is when your partner has no motivation to get going. Watching someone you love struggle with the drive to do something can be incredibly painful. Is there anything you can do to help?
Your partner doesn’t want to try
Imagine your partner is an extremely talented artist. They talk about having big goals to open an art gallery, but they don’t take action to accomplish their dreams. Instead, they fantasize about having an art gallery but they stay in their day job, and they don’t work toward their goal. What can you do to help motivate them? You’re frustrated when you see your partner daydreaming about something that they want so much, and they’re not doing anything to push towards that goal. So what can you do?
What not to do
Before we talk about what you can do for your partner to motivate them when they don’t have any internal drive let’s talk about what not to do. You don’t want to shame them. Telling someone that they’re not doing something right makes them feel bad about themselves. It’s easy to point out what someone’s flaws are. It’s harder to motivate them to do what will be better for them. But the hard thing will most likely be worth the effort. If your partner wants to open that art gallery it’s time to remind them of what they’re good at and how they can make those talents flourish.
Empower your partner
Empower your partner to do what they want to do but are too scared to pursue. Sometimes lacking motivation isn’t what it appears to be. It could be that your partner is afraid to pursue their dream. Maybe that lack of motivation is fear of failure. We’re all afraid to fail. It’s human nature to be fearful of falling on our faces. If your partner is worried that opening an art gallery will fail, remind them that if they don’t try there’s no chance at success. Talk to them about how talented they are. Encourage them that their art will help and inspire other artists. You can also tell them that you’re willing to support them along the way and do anything that you can to help their dream come true. Tell your partner how much you admire their art, and how powerful it is. They need to feel that they’re making an impact, and you can empower them and show them that. You can’t make someone believe in themselves, but you can hold a mirror up to them and show them who they are.
From no motivation to full speed ahead
Lacking the drive to do something is not necessarily about the absence of motivation but more related to defense mechanisms. Whether your partner is afraid or depressed is something they need to explore. One way you can help them to find out the source of their lack of motivation is to guide them towards therapy. Whether they work with an online therapist or someone in their local area finding out the reason behind their lack of motivation will help them redirect their energy and guide them towards success. Online therapy is an excellent place to explore their internal monologue. They’ll discover why they’re not motivated to pursue their goals. You can’t force motivation on someone; however, you can support them and empower them to pursue their dreams. And one way that you can do this is to direct them toward mental health resources where they can find guidance towards finding motivation.
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How about when on top of being fearful of failing, which only hurts you. You are worried that when you fail your failure will cause harm to your partner. Maybe they are afraid to open that art gallery because if it fails, it will hurt your partner. If you truly share your life with someone, then this could hurt your partnership financially, which by proxy hurts the person you love.