Out of the womb, he rocked a moosed up mohawk, looking like a dreamy cross-breed of Vince Neil and Bret Michaels. Who doesn’t even require makeup to pull off the Rock Wailer look.
Most babies are born baldies with indentations on their heads. Looking like they were dropped one too many times because Nurse Jackie got the shakes.
My breach, flipper baby was born a day BEFORE my mother’s birthday. Finally, my wife had living proof God wasn’t picking on her anymore.
“Chosen Curls” mounted his high chair in 13 months flat with rock solid drive, like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson double-dared him to do it.
Everything about Chosen Curls screams nature boy woo. Like him aggressively trying to poke Sleeping Beauty’s eyes open on his sister’s Amazon Kindle.
Chosen Curls was bound to woo. He stops traffic in Stop and Shop even after their Prime Rib sample station opens.
I almost missed the birth of Chosen Curls because I had to wait 5 hours for my in-laws to arrive. My younger brother was planned to babysit my 2 other celestial beams of light once my wife went into labor. After he arrived at our home sweet home, he thought it was a bright idea to get himself stoned off the sticky icky stuff, during his 1st stint babysitting my children ever. So I called an audible and recruited my in-laws to drive down from Delaware to look after the kids instead. After this golden opportunity I gave my younger brother to show he really cared about helping me out in my time of need went up in smoke, so to speak.
Chosen Curls was bound to woo. He’s been blessed with the most naturalistic, non-strained smile of all time.
Chosen Curls was bound to woo. He waddles with excitable joy across the room like Charlie Chaplain junior after taking a dump in his pants. Without ever losing his non-predatory charm along the way.
Chosen Curls was born to woo. He throws a powerful, straightforward jab at 20 months old. I’m not calling him the 2nd coming of Adonis Creed but his big brother will be crying “No Mas” in no time. No offense son, but he’ll break you.
Chosen Curls was bound to woo. At 20 months old he’s already throwing 5 pound free weights across the room like he was flicking Pistachio Nuts Shells at Andy Dick passed out in the Viper Room 3 hours before New Year’s Eve.
Chosen Curls was bound to woo. When he claps it up to “Moth Into Flame” by Metallica in the car, he emanates rip-roaring, feel-good joy. Rock Star Ready’s emotive, clapping antics could go viral.
Chosen Curls was bound to woo. When we’re in coffee shops and all the women ask to hold him. I’ll tell him later: You do realize your star power stems from dada’s tree trunk, right?
Chosen Curls was bound to woo. Big sis and big bro are tucked in. I ask Rock Star Ready, do you wanna hear one of Dada’s podcasts in bed? He yells with excitable glee, YEAH!
My wife won’t even bookmark my blog.
Originally Published on Do It All Dad
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