My Wife Answers Your Juiciest Questions

Audrey Answers Your Love and Life Questions

This video is a big deal because my wife Audrey is answering your love and life questions.

And the reason this is a big deal is because Audrey did not want to do this video. It required an insane amount of convincing.

“There’s a nice cake.”

“Is it romantic?”

“There’s a cake that you’re going to love. Yep, I’ve baked you a cake. And it’s filled with all of your favorite things.”

“Uh, compliments?”

“It’s a cake filled with compliments.”

“Cake filled with compliments?”

“Yeah. Everything that you love.”

“What is going on? Okay, I can’t…”

But you asked for it. You literally said, “We demand Audrey.” So I’m going to bring her onto this video.

Meeting Audrey has changed my life in so many ways. We have been in a relationship for over five years. We met around six years ago, and we’ve been married for two, going on three years now.

We had a son three or four months ago, and I have never been more at peace in a relationship in my life. I’ve never been this happy.

It’s such a joy to be able to bring you someone who has taught me so much and changed me so much, and frankly, to have her answer your questions herself for once.

We went through the questions that came in from our prior YouTube video. Yes, we read your comments, in case you didn’t know. Make sure you leave them on this video, too.

We also pulled questions from our Love Life Coaching group. If you don’t know, we have a coaching community with thousands of members who are actively working on their love lives and life in general.

Audrey is a coach in that group. She is an active mentor there. The link is in the bio for anyone who wants to check that out.

We have categorized the questions into two big themes: questions about Audrey and questions about my relationship with Audrey.

As always, like and subscribe for more. I know that your love and encouragement would mean the world to Audrey.

“Check. Check. Action.”

“You got it.”

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Here is a summary of the transcript from YouTube, slightly edited with AI.

How Does Audrey Stay So Confident and Secure?

Our first question comes from Makeup Koala on YouTube, who asks:

I would like to know how Audrey is so confident and secure. Of course, it helps that she’s absolutely beautiful, but there must be something deeper here. From what she has said, it’s clear that she’s gone through the same stuff that many women go through, but somehow she managed to stay true to herself.

“Well, first of all, thank you so much for the compliment. That’s really kind of you.

I’m three months out from having a baby, so telling any new mom that she’s beautiful is just about the kindest thing you can do. So thank you so much.

I find it so interesting that you think I lean secure because I’ve always identified as being more anxious and anxiously attached, in fact.

What I found to be a helpful realization is that one of the antidotes to anxiety is actually connection.

What I mean by that is that when we’re looking for love, we’re often looking for a sense of belonging and acceptance. We want the person to accept us. We want to feel worthy.

And it’s not steady ground when you’re dating because you often don’t really know how someone is feeling about you.

So instead of looking for certainty in that person, I looked for connection and a sense of belonging with my friendships and my family relationships.

That connection and that ability to feel seen and accepted within those relationships really helped take the pressure off when it came to meeting potential connections and people I liked.

That’s something I had to work hard on. I think it’s very active work. I don’t think it’s something that just happens by itself—certainly not for me.

I’m by no means perfect in that area. It’s required a lot of discipline and a lot of shifting my focus from the uncertainty I might be feeling about somebody to the fact that I already have a home, a sense of connection, and a sense of belonging with other people.

Constantly reminding myself of that and bringing myself back there has helped me a lot with not feeling anxious and feeling more secure.”

Dealing With Feelings of Unworthiness

Our second question comes from a Love Life member who asks:

Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough or lack self-love? And how did you choose to value yourself in those moments?

“The short answer is yes, absolutely.

I have felt that many times in my life. To a certain extent, I think a feeling of unworthiness is something a lot of us carry with us forever. We just have to learn to manage it and coexist with that feeling.

We have to remind ourselves that it comes from past wounds and past experiences.

For me, one of the things that’s really helped with that feeling of unworthiness—that feeling of not being good enough—is trying to attack the problem from all angles.

To give you an example, when I was in my twenties, I suffered from hair loss. But instead of hiding away and feeling down on myself, I decided to do everything I could to prevent it and get my hair back to how it was before.

I saved money to get expensive hair treatments. I did all of the research I possibly could around supplements, products, and different things I could do to help it. I even did a full hormone panel.

Over time, it actually got better as a result, which was fantastic.”

“Let’s say your hair had not improved. What would you have done to maintain a sense of self-esteem and self-love despite the fact that this thing that had rocked your confidence didn’t actually get better?”

“What I would have done is tackle the feelings I had around the fact that it hadn’t gotten better.

At that point, it would have shifted from a physical thing I was trying to fix to a psychological thing I was trying to work through.

I would have asked: Where am I putting my confidence? Where am I putting my sense of worthiness? How can I start to feel better about myself? What can I actually do within my control to feel better about this thing that is outside my control?

But I probably would have felt really bad about it for a long time before I did that.

I think that’s important to say. At a certain point, it’s important to move into action and see what you can do, but that can take a little while.”

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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