“She’s always coming at me with a charge. It’s like I have to take on her anger just to stay married to her.”
James pauses and looks away for a moment.
“Half of the time I’m not even sure what she’s angry about.”
He throws his hands up in frustration.
“The other day, she barked at me because I didn’t secure the lid to the yogurt. The day before, it was how I don’t reply to her texts soon enough. The week before, it was, I work too much.”
He looks at me, as if he’s going to say something he’ll regret. But he says it anyway.
“My wife’s a bully.”
Instead of feeling regret, he’s relieved.
“What can I do about it?”
Do you experience charged behavior from your partner?
If so, you’re not alone. I hear from a lot of men who say things like…
“She’s so critical of me.”
“She’s a rageaholic.”
“I sometimes think she hates all men.”
The list goes on.
Why are women so angry at their men these days?
Why are so many guys feeling like their partners’ targets?
And most importantly…
What can you do about it?
A lot of men just resort to walking on eggshells around their partner. Trying to be invisible, hoping she’ll just calm down.
That was James, before we began working together.
He’d try to get to bed before his wife, so he could just sleep peacefully. Or in the morning, he’d get his toast and coffee and get out of the house to avoid conflict.
Do you walk on eggshells around your partner?
James did, until he faced his fears of things getting worse before they got better.
When I pointed out to him the daily soul-suck he was living in, he realized the extent to which he had trained himself to do everything he could not to upset his wife.
“You do realize it has a major cost to you?” I said.
James had habituated himself, to not upset his wife, to such a point that he began to lose any sense of who he was, what he wanted in his marriage, and what would make him happy.
“Holy f*#k!” he said to me when the light bulb went off.
Then I asked him…
What if you didn’t take on your wife’s anger as your responsibility?
For a moment, he looked at me like I was crazy.
“Say what?” he said.
I repeated the question.
“I”m just afraid that would make things worse.”
And so I taught him a powerful tool, four words that settled his fears and gave him the confidence to change the dynamic in his marriage.
Discover those four words for yourself in the short video below. Four words! For real!
Do you want to make a change in your relationship?
In a short time, James mastered these four words and experienced a new way forward in his marriage.
“It’s like she knows I won’t take it anymore. I mean, I wasn’t a jerk about it. But I made it clear, something needs to change. And it shocked me, when she said, you’re right.”
No woman wants to be a bully. She’s just stuck in a bad habit. And in James’ case, it was one that he had allowed to linger, until I coached him otherwise.
Do you want to stop your partner’s bullying?
Previously Published on stuartmotola.com