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Nailing Fatherhood
By Shannon Carpenter, Lee’s Summit, MO
From Dads Behaving DADLY: 67 Truths, Tears, and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood Copyright © 2014 Motivational Press. Reprinted with permission. By Hogan Hilling and Al Watts.
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I want my daughter to grow up confident, sure of herself. I want her to be able to rely on herself; to believe if something needs to be done, she is the one to do it. I want her to be assertive, to set goals and attain them. I want her to grab her victories, learn from her losses and plan for the future.
So I gave her my nail gun.
Hear me out; this is genius.
I build furniture on occasion. A chair here, an outdoor table there. I get immense satisfaction from it. I look at a completed project and think to myself, yup, I would totally have sex with me. I am confident, even when I mess up. I am confident I can identify the mistake, the actions leading to the mistake, and the necessary steps to correct that mistake.
Or glue. I can always use more glue.
This is what I want for my daughter, and there is no better time to start this than when she is five. We bought an old antique bed from a garage sale, five bucks. It appears I am cheap. But when others looked at the 60-year-old bed and saw a cracked headboard and two busted legs, I saw greatness and opportunity. I saw a chance to work with my daughter; to begin to teach her the lessons I thought she would need as a woman.
We took the bed home in pieces and set it up in my garage. We took off the busted legs. We pried off the old molding on the headboard and then had a quick sword fight with it because, let’s face it, sword fights are always cool.
We chose poplar for the leg replacements because my daughter liked the green swirls. Good enough for me. I planed them and joined them, letting her do the glue work. If you can glue paper, you can glue wood. She took the project seriously for a five-year-old; I was quite proud. We shaped the legs on the table saw and touched them up with the router. Repeat. And bam: two new legs.
The headboard was a bit trickier, but that’s okay. If there isn’t a challenge to a build, why build at all? Over a very nice game of Candyland, we decided it wouldn’t be too hard to glue the headboard back together if we used some straps instead of straight clamps. My daughter ran and got “daddy’s special ropes” and boom! More glue work and 24 hours later, our headboard was back in one piece.
Now the only thing left was nailing on the molding. I cranked up the air compressor, put eye goggles and ear protectors on my daughter and me and brought our wood over to the headboard.
This was by far the coolest thing she had ever done in her entire life, ever, ever. I know this because she told me. I took her to Disney World, but I didn’t bring that up because, honestly, this was pretty cool. Completing a project with your kid is a special kind of cool; one that will last with me a lot longer than Mickey. No offense Mr. Mouse.
I tutored my daughter about the safety rules of handing a nail gun. Then I held the molding up and guided her hand. She placed the gun where she wanted the nail to go, took a big breath, squinted one eye behind her goggles, and bam, pulled the trigger. She squealed in delight. I had to remind her that we don’t jump up and down with a nail gun in hand. We quickly finished the rest of the molding, put the bed back together and put on the new legs.
I was proud of my little girl, and she was proud of herself. We called mom and sent her pictures of all the things she had done because she is a big girl now, she can do it.
That was the confidence I was looking for; that right there.
“What color do you want to paint your new bed, honey?” I asked her.
“PURPLE! PURPLE! PURPLE! PURPLE!” she said.
“Cool, I dig purple. But how about we just do the inside purple?”
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Shannon Carpenter is a strapping older gentleman who enjoys the occasional donut topped with chocolate. And sprinkles, yeah sprinkles. Sprinkles are the bomb. As an at-home dad for the last nine years, he vows to take all comers in the speed diaper changing challenge. Bring your A game. Read more of his adventures, with his three kids, at www.hossmanathome.com. Currently represented by The Kepner Agency.
Hogan Hilling is a nationally recognized and OPRAH approved author of 12 published books. Hilling has appeared on Oprah. He is the creator of the DADLY book series and the “#WeLoveDads” and “#WeLoveMoms” Campaigns, which he will launch in early 2018. He is also the owner of Dad Marketing https://dadmarketingconsulting.wordpress.com/, a first of its kind consultation firm on how to market to dads. He is also the founder of United We Parent, www.unitedweparent.com. Hilling is also the author of the DADLY book series and first of its kind books. The first book is about marketing to dads “DADLY Dollar$” and two coffee table books that feature dads and moms. “DADLY Dads: Parents of the 21st Century” and “Amazing Moms: Parents of the 21st Century.” Hilling is the father of three children and lives in southern California.
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Originally published in Dads Behaving DADLY: 67 Truths, Tears, and Triumphs of Modern Fatherhood Copyright © 2014 Motivational Press. Reprinted with permission.
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