On Monday, I spent almost the entire day reading.
I was reading a 700 plus page library book that was due that very day, and I was still 400 pages away from the end. I decided to shut out the noise of the world, close my laptop, shut the blinds, and cozy up on the couch to finish the book in time to save the $0.25 late fee.
Relaxing as that sounds, sadly, I was stressed out the entire time.
With every turn of the page, a voice would inevitably chime in with its obnoxious and very judgmental questions:
Shouldn’t you be checking your e-mail? Shouldn’t you be doing something else?
Because I wasn’t checking my e-mails, I felt like I was missing something important. I felt like a bad employee playing hooky, even though I mostly work for myself.
When did this happen? When did my digital world take such a strong hold on my life?
I remember the day when my dad brought our first computer home. It could connect to something called “the internet,” a concept my young mind was hard pressed to understand. When my dad plugged a wire into the phone line, I was memorized by the sound of this mysterious “internet” as it dialed into some unknown space, beeping, pinging and making noises akin to Darth Vader.
Five minutes later, we were “connected.” Awesome. I don’t even remember what you could look up online at that time (nor, I am sure, did I know to use the term “online” in the first place, much less that you could actually look stuff up once you were there). I think everyone had a Microsoft outlook e-mail account back then, so you could check that. But you were lucky to get an e-mail a week, much less one a day. And cell phone? No one had a cell phone, except for maybe your coolest friend’s dad who was a businessman and worked in the city. And it was a far cry from the smart phones of late.
Today, things are obviously different. Studies undeniably demonstrate how distracted we are. Car crashes are caused every day by texting or talking on the phone and driving. Everywhere you go – restaurants, stores, and even driving down the road – more and more people are looking down at their phones instead of talking to the people right in front of them, or focusing on the important task they are supposed to be fully engaged in. Coffee shops seem to have just as many laptops as they do people (guilty). And on more occasions than I care to admit, I personally can’t even get into a long line at a store without feeling the urge to pull out my phone to “fill” the time with a peek at my e-mails or a few posts on Instagram.
And therein lies the problem. In this age of digital overload, we are not allowing those precious spaces between the noise to exist. We are not honoring the silences that I believe our souls so desperately need. The reconnection to ourselves seems to be lost in the noise of our pinging phones and hi-speed internet.
Being so connected makes me feel frazzled – and distressingly disconnected. From myself. I feel like there is an expectation to answer texts right away, to answer e-mails immediately, or else. Or else…what? Or else…scrutiny. People will think I’m not on my game, not dependable, not serious about my work, not….not…a trustworthy person? I don’t know.
So what can we do?
Well, we can go to the extreme of taking a year off from digital connection, like Seattle-based staff writer, David Roberts, did. Before the self induced silence, Roberts had 37 000 followers on Facebook and Twitter, and would post at least 30 times a day. When he started thinking in 140 character tweets, he decided to give himself a 365 day digital detox. No internet. No phone. No texts. No tweets. Nothing but good ol’ personal, face to face connection. He ended up 25 pounds lighter and a lot happier, but he came back with a nagging worry:
Now that he was back on the internet, would he just fall into the same trap as he was in before?
Well, honestly, he just might. Because the biggest problem in trying to disconnect is that the world doesn’t work that way anymore. The world expects you to be connected. All the time. So how can you disconnect when the world around you isn’t following suit?
Therein lies another problem. One that I don’t know the answer to.
But I know this:
There has to be a connection between the increased level of over stressed, over medicated, over caffeinated people in the world, and the increase in digital connection. Yes, of course, there are many other factors. And if you want to be digitally connected, fine, I get it. I’m right there with you. But at least give yourself some time alone with your thoughts each day to breathe, take it all in, and just be. Because if we don’t fight for it now, soon, it won’t be there to fight for.
And if you want to save yourself from having to go to such an extreme as to take a year off from the internet, you best try to implement some small changes to get some more space, and some more silence, into this, your one and only life.
Here are 7 ideas to try today:
1. Stop taking your phone with you into the bathroom when you go #2.
Don’t lie. You know you do it. 75% of Americans have admitted to it. Just think of all those poop particles on everyone’s phones! Because you can bet not very many (if any) people are sanitizing those phones after they get up from their porcelain thrown. Just a thought…
2. Don’t take out your phone while waiting in line at the store.
Think instead about your day, how it’s going so far, what you will do later. Or perhaps daydream about something that makes you happy. Or maybe even make small talk with those around you. So many options!
3. Resist the urge to pull out your phone while you’re waiting for your friends at a restaurant.
Why not bring a book and read instead? Or bring a journal and write? Or do nothing? Just people watch. It’s fun!
4. Define your digital boundaries.
Decide to only respond to e-mails and texts between certain hours of the day and honor those times. Train people how to communicate with you.
5. Pick a time each day when you will turn off all digital connection.
6. Go for a walk – even if it’s only for 5 minutes – every day.
Don’t bring your phone with you. Maybe bring some tea instead. Or coffee. Or chocolate. Whatever makes you smile.
7. Don’t check your e-mails first thing in the morning.
Some of the most productive and successful people in the world all have given this advice. And, as I understand it, checking e-mails in the morning sets you on a path of reaction rather than productivity, allowing the day to control you rather than the other way around. So don’t do it. Work out. Read the paper. Meditate. But don’t check your e-mails first thing in the morning.
Whatever you can do to get some more silence into your life, do it. Because it’s true what they say: silence is golden. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do or say is nothing at all.
This post originally appeared at Delectable You.com and is republished to Medium.
Photo credit; iStock